Saved
by chickenfor-thepeople
Summary: Cophine. Cosima getting married? When she meets Delphine her life in changed forever, but at what cost? (A big one bruv) Just read it you'll like it
1. Chapter 1

A room, lit by a chandelier central of the ceiling and scattered candles upon each table occupied by lovers and smiles. There, seated in the corner, farthest from the rhythmic jazz band opposite, a dreadlocked woman looking through her glasses into her blonde beloved's eyes. Separated by the width of the table, at arms length, a rose lays against the white cloth, having just eaten they had decided to stay for dessert. It had been two years today. Two years since they began their relationship. The waiter walked to their table, pouring a French wine delicately into each their glasses. Once he leaves, the blonde begins.

"You look...incredible tonight, you really do."

Cosima's smile showed her white teeth, her cheeks pink. She had thought dancing was on the agenda, rather than such a lavish ordeal. She took a sip from her glass.

"Thank you." Being all she could muster.

There was a tense atmosphere, despite the celebration of the occasion, Cosima could feel it. A sense of anticipation, of something unsaid. It was rarely like this between the two, more often than not they had gave all they could into the relationship, despite the frequent long-distance due to their work. On their one year anniversary they had visited England to see Cosima's sister and neice, Sarah and Kira, but the clear tension between Sarah and the blonde had meant the trip didn't go as Cosima had planned. But Cosima knew how much her beloved adored to travel, she feared she may be disappointed with this years events.

Just then, the blonde opened her mouth to speak and was greeted by yet another waiter accompanied by pudding. He placed them down neatly before them, Cosima wasting no time to pick up her cutlery As they ate, the blonde looked around nervously. Her hands were shaking, she needed to maintain her composure.

"I'm just going to the bathroom for a second." She announced before attempting to rush off.

"Oh, okay, do you need me to come with you? Is everything okay?" Cosima replied, sensing her somewhat anxiety.

"No, no. I'm fine, be back soon."

Cosima watched her as she walked out and around the corner. She had been acting strangely and Cosima was beginning to worry. Maybe part of it was jealousy. She hadn't seen her girlfriend in weeks until now, it took around three hours to drive from work to Cosima's and with such a packed schedule it was hard to fit time around each other. Not to mention Cosima's own work that she had been doing at the DYAD with her research into developing stem cells. All the while their communication often consisted of the blonde's bragging towards how great her work colleagues were, especially Paul, by God she hated Paul. But of course, she would never tell her girlfriend that and she was overjoyed for her, though it caused quite a strain within their relationship.

A few minutes later she came back into the room, turning heads as she did so and made her way back to the table. She was calmer now, much calmer.

"Are you feeling okay?" Asked Cosima with genuine concern.

"Yes, yes of course." She reassured with a smile.

She picked up her spoon and began to eat her dessert, encouraging Cosima to follow in her actions. Come to think of it, they rarely went out much like this anymore.

"You know," The blonde began abruptly. "Today is an extremely special day. It's been two years, can you believe it?"

"I almost can't, no." Cosima replied, having no idea what she was trying to allude to.

"But what's even crazier, is that after these two years I already know what I want forever. I have it all with you, Cosima. I wouldn't change a thing."

Suddenly Cosima realised the music had ceased playing. The room was now silent, you could hear a pin drop. She looked up around her to see the eyes of those on other tables looking directly in their direction. Confused she looked back towards the blonde who was now before her, upon one knee. It seemed like a blur, she couldn't believe what was happening, the information proving too overwhelming to process.

"Will you marry me, Cosima?"

The world stood still for a moment. She couldn't believe this was happening so out of the blue. They have never even spoke of marriage prior to this, Cosima hadn't even considered the concept of marriage for herself. A surge of self-doubt, of doubt towards their relationship, of doubts about the extent of her love, it all came following at once. Was this how it was meant to feel? Wasn't the sort of question responded with one little word and a large declaration of love. Cosima suddenly grew weary of the troubled expression the blonde's face, she had already taken far too long to reply. Conflicted in her mind, no time for a scientific evaluation, it called for direct and immediate response. All thoughts from different angles came shooting into her mind, clouding her thoughts. The eyes around her turned, the sound of murmuring becoming evident.

"Yes." She heard herself say.

All around the sound of cheer and congratulations could be heard, some people taking the chance to stand up and clap in response to the proposal.

From her knee she stood up and embraced Cosima who was still sitting down, semi-emotionless in her chair. She kissed her cheek, it was stone cold.

"I love you so much, Cosima."

There was a pause. And then a slight smile.

"I love you too, Shay. I love you too."

Just as a side note, I am Cophine through and through, just thought I'd attempt at mixing things up a bit. I assure great things will come with time! (Cophine shippers deserve it)


	2. Chapter 2

Cosima awoke to the warmth of kisses being placed softly onto her back and a headache which furthered her feelings of disorientation. She had drank so much wine only a few hours earlier and was now suffering the repercussions of it. It hadn't even registered why she had done so until she remembered...Shay's proposal. It was strange. They had never even considered such endeavours beforehand, at least not seriously and now this. Before Shay she had rarely been able to maintain a relationship, but a marriage? That was a whole different step.

"Good morning, my beautiful fiancee." She heard the woman whisper into her ear. It sent a shock through Cosima's body, she suddenly felt stiff and uncomfortable.

She turned to face the blonde, forcing a smile and kissing her on the lips. It was rare that they had such time together, even though this was their own home, own bed, and yet Cosima felt eager to get away. She was a scientist, logic and rational thinking was detrimental to her work, and her studies on a daily basis, and yet she hadn't been able to think about this. Something that would have a direct impact on her for the rest of her life. There was no way she would have been able to say no, not with all those people, with Shay looking at her like she did, her blue eyes, it would have been impossible. Not to mention she hadn't any reason to say no. They were in a functioning relationship, together for over two years now. Yet she couldn't explain the overwhelming feeling of regret, like she was walking into a big mistake.

"Are you okay?" Shay asked, looking deeply into her eyes. Suddenly Cosima snapped out of it, it was meant to be a celebration not a time of dwelling.

"Yeah...Yeah of course? Like, why wouldn't I be?" She replied, almost stuttering over her own words. Shay was pleased with the answer however, she lifted her side of the duvet and got out of bed.

"Good," She said, "Because I'm going to make you the best breakfast you've ever had." Leaving the room wrapped in her nightgown, she took one last flirtatious look back at Cosima from the doorway, before making her way to the kitchen.

Whilst rubbing her temples in an attempt to ease her headache the buzzing of a phone vibrating began. Taking her glasses from the bedside table and clumsily putting them on she began to search for the source. After patting around the bed, Cosima found not her own phone, but Shay's with the notifications of *4 NEW MESSAGES*. Just as she was about to place it back onto the bed it vibrated again, Cosima looked at the display. *PAUL: I MISS YOU, WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK?* Confused, Cosima read the text over and over, dazed by this overt display of affection. She could hear the sound of footsteps looming into the bedroom, without thinking Cosima shoved the phone under a pillow, ignoring it's existence and the message it had revealed.

'I wasn't sure whether you would want the yoghurt with or without the fruit in it so….' Shay carried on speaking words, all of which were meaningless to Cosima, who was still in shock from the message she had just read. Perhaps it has been simply platonic, Shay had always assured they had a strictly professional relationship, however this display was clearly crossing the line into more personal territories. She daren't say anything though, with so little reason other than that, Cosima was too proud to bring it up. In the past she had her fair share of clingy girlfriends, ones who would call her up on the smallest of issues, and there was no way in hell she would allow herself to become one of those girls. So she said nothing. Instead engaging in the conversation Shay weakly offered, all the while Cosima's thoughts churned in her mind like clockwork.

'It's so sad that I have to leave today, I'm going to miss this." Shay said, interrupting her thoughts. Against her will Cosima was feeling relieved at this, she needed her own space to think through everything. She felt nauseous, the overwhelming combination of a hangover, being suddenly engaged and Paul's texts were proving too much.

"Yeah. Yeah me too...but duty calls, right?" She offered. It had once been one of the things which drew her to Shay, the fact she was in the army. She was grounded and kept Cosima from being sucked in by her imagination, her work ethic was something she admired. But on the flip side it meant that she was always at base, training and preparing, for weeks sometimes months at a time. It wasn't always like this though, not at the start, what started as a drunken one night stand evolved into slowly dating, then commitment, meeting each other's families, getting an apartment together, but then Shay was given a promotion, one she couldn't refuse and it meant their relationship was now long distance, something Cosima in the past had insisted never worked.

"I'll be back soon, only a few weeks this time. I'll be phoning and texting you everyday." Shay tried to assure, at the mention of texting she reached for her phone under the pillow, she looked at the front screen, clearly reading the text that Cosima had just moments before. Her face was incomprehensible, something she must have learned to control from her line of work, but what she couldn't hide was the blush growing upon her cheeks, impossible to ignore.

"Are you okay?" Cosima asked, her heart beating hard in her chest.

There was a pause.

"Yes," Shay finally replied, "Yeah, it's just work stuff babe. I need to start packing."

Abruptly she moved from the bed, pulling her suitcase out from under it and collecting her clothes from the draws. Cosima was desperate to say something, anything, about what she had read, the same messages Shay had just read and then lied about. She watched as she moved around the room gathering her uniform etc. Cosima knew if she didn't say something now she would regret it, if this woman was to be her wife in the future then it is only natural they should be open with their feelings and what's happening. Cosima opened to her mouth to speak and just then she was cut off as her own phone began to vibrate. She fell back onto the pillows, letting out an irritated sigh and took her phone from the bedside table.

"Hello?"

"Hey Cosima! I just heard the news congratulations, you must be so happy right now!" It was the unmistakable voice of Scott on the other end, his tone clearly excitable. Though confused as to how the news of her engagement had spread, she went along with it, maybe she had drunkenly text him the night before.

"Thanks, man. It means a lot." She couldn't hide the underwhelmed tone of her own voice and Scott immediately sensed this. They had been friends and lab partners for years, so it was no shock that he could tell she was being off.

"For someone who has just been nominated for such a prestigious award you don't sound too pleased about it."

"Wait...what?" Cosima replied, not fully taking in what he was saying to her.

"So you're saying you didn't know?"

"Scott, can you please just tell me what's going on?" She begged, getting more and more impatient.

"You've been nominated for the DYAD award for your research on cloning. Everyone is talking about it, are you saying you seriously didn't know?"

Cosima let out an excited scream, the phone flying onto the covers as her arms shot into the air. She hadn't even considered herself a contender in the awards, especially not at such a young age. Everyone who knew about science would know how big the DYAD awards were, ever since she was a kid she had dreamt of what it would be like to win one and now she had been nominated. She picked the phone back up.

"Scott...are you absolutely 100% sure that…"

Scott interrupted her before she could even utter one more word. "Yes, I am completely certain it's you Cosima, I'm at the lab right now, you must be the only person who didn't know until now!"

"Oh my god, I'm...I'm going to have to go to the lab right now. Thank you so much for calling, I'll see you in a sec."

"Congratulations Cosima!"

She hung up the phone in disbelief. She couldn't comprehend what had just happened, her heart swelling with pride. She sat with her phone tight to her lips, unable to stop herself from smiling. Looking up she realised that she was alone in the room, Shay had gone. She got up in an attempt to find her and deliver the amazing news. To the right of the hallway, in the bathroom, she could hear the sound of whispering.

'We can't do this again, I told you before...I know I do too...I just...I can't…"

As Cosima stood forward the flooring creaked.

"Listen, I've got to to go." She rushed.

Cosima knocked on the door, concerned and slightly deflated by her blatantly secretive actions. After a moment Shay opened the door.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Who was that?" Cosima asked, refusing to ignore it anymore.

"Who?"

"Whoever you were speaking too on the phone…" She tried with all her willpower to ignore the rising heat she felt inside of her, an anger boiling.

"Oh it was just work, they need me in earlier today. It means I'm going to have to leave now if I'm going to be there on time." Said Shay, her demeanour collected.

"Right."

They stood, just looking at each other for a long while, neither knowing what to say, Cosima unknowing of what to believe.

"Did I hear you screaming just a minute ago?" Shay finally asked.

"Uh...yeah...I sort of got nominated...for the DYAD award?" It was the first time she had said so aloud and a surge of excited replaced her anger.

"Babe, that's amazing!" She wrapped her arms around Cosima's neck, her phone still in her hand. Cosima hesitantly put her hands on the petite woman's hips. Suddenly Shay kissed her quickly on the lips and pulled away, walking to get her packed suitcase from the hallway.

"I've really got to go now, I'm afraid. I can't be late."

"Oh okay…"

"I'm going to be back before you know it okay." She placed her palm upon Cosima's cheek. "I love you, I can't wait for you to be my wife."

Cosima stood, silently, conflicted with emotions.

"I'll speak to you soon." She managed.

Shay looked at her, with sad eyes, clearly craving reciprocation of some kind.

"Love you" Cosima said, giving in to her blue orbs.

With that Shay smiled, turning away and walking out towards the door. Cosima made her way back to bed, collapsing onto it. Seconds later she heard the front door slam shut. She let out a deep sigh, her thoughts were all over the place.

Once more, her phone vibrated.

*SCOTT: WHERE ARE YOU?*

"Shit." Cosima groaned. "Late again."


	3. Chapter 3

Clambering out of the taxi and paying the driver, Cosima was finally outside the DYAD. She figured that walking would have only drove her crazy with anticipation, so she took the faster route instead. Rushing into the building she fixed her identification badge onto her blouse and made her way to the elevator, pressing the button for the lift eagerly. She had never been so excited to see Scott and be in her lab to hear all about these recent developments.

Finally the elevator opened with a ding, already inside were two of her colleagues who greeted her with a smile of congratulations. She got inside and pressed the level she needed, her foot tapping subconsciously with preoccupation. After a few levels the elevator stopped, the doors opened to reveal Dr Leekie standing there, as though waiting for Cosima herself.

"Ah, if it isn't the scientist of the hour!" He greeting getting into the lift and offering the young brunette his hand. She took it, shaking firmly, unable to hide the smile that had inhabited her face ever since she found out the news.

"Thank you, I almost can't believe it, it's like some crazy dream." She couldn't stop the rising heat of her cheeks burn through. Science was her passion, it always had been and so to be singled out for her work meant the world.

"Well believe me, if there's anyone who deserves it, it's you Cosima. You recent work has proved fascinating, just fascinating. I've left an envelope on your desk with all the details of the event. Keep up the good work."

Just on time the elevator reached it stop, she thanked Leekie once more and left walking down the thin, white corridors until she reached her room. Swiping her I.D on the lock, she burst the door open and rushed towards Scott. He opened his arms for her and they held the embrace momentarily. If anyone knew how much this meant to Cosima, it was Scott. They had been working and researching together for several years and had been friends for even longer. He understood the complexities behind Cosima's work and it only made sense that her intricate work had been nominated.

"You did it!" He exclaimed.

"You say it as though this was planned Scott, I truly never even considered this may happen!"

"It was bound to at some point." He assured her, confidently.

Cosima walked over to her own desk, the brown envelope neatly on top, just as Leekie had said. She sat down, to avoid her knees from buckling below her. Quickly she opened the letter. Scott watched her from across the room, seeing her face freezing, her eyes quickly darting as she read and her hand as it involuntarily rose to face, her flushed cheeks. Once she was done reading she handed the envelope to Scott so he could read it all through himself. Inside was a letter both congratulating and explaining the reason for her nomination, thanking her for the foundings she had contributed to the science world. Along with this, it provided basic details, what time to be there, allowing plus ones.

"Cosima...you do know this thing is tomorrow night?"

Getting up she snatched the letter from his hands she scanned it for the right date, seeing that it was in fact the next day she was expected to attend.

"Shit...talk about late notice, right."

She couldn't take her eyes from the letter, everything felt so surreal. She had barely any time to even run through her own personal problems she so desperately needed to sort, but this was all that she could concentrate on right now.

"You coming with me then, dude?" She asked, without having to think. She wouldn't have even been in that same position if it wasn't for Scott and his help throughout. At this, he immediately perked up, somewhat pretending to be shocked by the invitation.

"Yeah...I mean...like I would love too…but there's this thing...I'm not saying no, it's just like…"

"What's going on?" She interrupting him, his blubbering becoming intolerable, but also curious as to what could be more of a priority than this.

He was quiet for a few moments, pink bruising his cheeks. Cosima stood in anticipation of what revelation was to come.

"...I sort of...might have a...a date?" He finally stuttered.

"Oh my god, dude no way! Why didn't you tell me before?" She couldn't believe that this was happening, yet alone that he had withheld it from her.

"I was going to tell you, I promise. I was just embarrassed. This type of stuff never happens to me, but you, you've dealt with this a million times."

Cosima didn't know whether the reference to her many previous lovers should be taken as a compliment, a boost to her ego, or a hinderance for making Scott worry about what was going on with him.

"You know I'm always here for you Scottie, regardless. You can tell me anything. And on the topic of such, who is this mystery lady?"

"Her name is Gracie."

"Gracie...Gracie…Oh wait, you mean Gracie Johannson? The one who works down in the immunology labs?"

"...Yeah, her." He admitted, Cosima could almost feel the heat radiating from his face.

"She's like totally cute! Tell her to come tomorrow night? It says I can bring a couple of people, you know. We'll have a blast."

"Cosima...are you sure? Because you know, we can always arrange for another time, that's no problem-"

"-No I promise you. This is the least I can do...You like her right?"

Scott forced himself to look Cosima in the eyes, he could only manage a weak but honest nod which told her all she needed to know.

"Then it's all sorted, tomorrow at 7pm okay?"

"Thank you. I can't thank you enough. I'm going to go ask her now!" And with that he left with a spring in his step.

It brought Cosima so much joy to see Scott like that, in all their time he had expressed interest in women, but never actively pursued them as he was now. In a way she felt proud of him for finally asking someone out on a date and she was glad to be able to help. But the shock quickly wore off and soon she was able to think about her own problems. This event was massive in the science world and it would only be right for her to ask Shay to come, she being her fiancé after all. Besides, she thought it might be fun, like old times. Taking the phone from her bag and sitting down she began to call Shay. The dial rang and rang for a couple of seconds before going to voicemail. It wasn't unusual for this to happen, she was usually hectic and with it being her first day back at base, she was bound to be busy. She decided to call one last time and if she didn't pick up she would leave it until later. The line rang as it did before, she put it on loud speaker and began to fiddle with her dreads whilst leaning back onto the seat. Just as she reached out to hang up, the ringing stop, it was silent, then the sound of rustling and it could have been her imagination, but she thought she heard whispering.

"Hey Cos, how...how are you? Is everything okay?" Her speech was unusual, strained even.

"Hey, yeah, yeah. Uh, where are you?" She asked, hating the words coming out of her mouth, she could see how clingy they sounded, they had only been a part a couple of hours.

"I'm just in my dorm, putting my...uh, my clothes away…"

There was a silence on the line.

"Well, I was just wondering if you would like to come to the DYAD awards with me? It's tomorrow at 7pm, I know you only just left, but this is a pretty big deal and it would mean a lot to me if -"

"Did you say tomorrow?" Shay said, cutting her off.

"Yeah."

"I don't think there's anyway I can make it, everything's very tense here right now. I'm sorry, I'll be back home soon though. I'll make it up to you?"

"Oh right yeah" Cosima began, trying to hide her disappointment, "No worries, anyway, I mean...it doesn't matter."

Just then another incoming call caused Cosima's phone to buzz against the table, it was Sarah. With Sarah being in England it meant she rarely ever calls, so it was bound to be an emergency.

"Shay I've got to go, Sarah's calling me. Speak to you later."

"Her?" Shay said, before being cut off and replaced with the new call.

"Sarah?" She answered instantly.

"Cos! Cos, can you hear me?" Came the voice of her distinctively British sister. The background noise, was overwhelming, like a sort of tornado.

"Yeah, Sarah, I'm right here. Is everything okay, what's with the noise?"

"Everything is peachy, mate. Listen, a little birdy told me that a special someone has been nominated for some sort of prestigious sciency award? I'm just here to say congrats."

Cosima smiled to herself, Scott had obviously told Sarah as he knew how modest she could be with the important things such as this and she was grateful to be able to hear her sister's voice.

"Thank you - you know Sarah you didn't have to do that."

"No Cos, you don't understand…" She replied, her tone suddenly serious.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I'm here geek monkey, in America. Me, Kira, Fee, S, we're all here."

Suddenly the background noise made sense, they had just gotten off the plane. A brilliant euphoria came over Cosima, she was shocked, her heart had stopped beating at certain points, but it all made sense. She was ecstatic.

"Are you not pleased Cos, cause we can just get back on that plane you know?" Sarah teased.

"No...no...don't you dare. You guys, I can't believe this. You did this for me?"

"Of course! Didn't we guys?" In the background a barely audible collect shout could be heard, but she could identify every voice.

"Oh my god," Cosima said in a whisper. "I love you all so much!"

"And we love you, if you need proof of that you just need to remember how much of a nightmare travelling from London to here is."

"I completely know, but I'm so so happy you did."

"-Oh shit, listen Cos, phones about to die. We're all meeting tonight at Alison's place about 8pm, see you there, yeah?" And with that she hung up, leaving Cosima overcome with love for and from her family. Although they spoke regularly, they hadn't seen each other properly since last year, when she had visited with...Shay. Collecting her possessions and sliding the envelope carefully into her bag, she made her way home, ready for the gathering that evening.

Approaching the door, her heels clicked against the suburban concrete and seemed to echo into the looming night. She knocked upon the door, having been waiting for this moment ever since receiving the call from Sarah, no matter how hard she tried to distract herself it always came back to this. She couldn't help but notice how surprisingly quiet it was, but dismissed it as one of Alison's party conditions. The door opened slowly, despite no one being there, all was dark. Cautiously she stood inside, looking around the hallway and creeping into the entrance of the living room.

"Sarah?...Alison?..."

All at once the lights flickered on along with the throwing of confetti, falling of balloons and exploding of poppers, Cosima looked around the room and saw she was surrounded by all those she loved.

'Congratulations Cosima!" Everyone shouted, as well as it being written on a banner hanging loosely across the ceiling.

Cosima felt her legs being gripped accompanied with the joyful exclamation of, "Auntie Cosima!" Looking down, there was Kira, looking all the while older than before and wanting desperately to be hugged by her aunt. Cosima picked her up from under her arms and span her round.

"Kira, look at you, you're all grown up!"

"I'm five now!" The young girl announced proudly.

Before she could reply she was being bombarded by further hugs, it was Sarah, with her arms wrapped tightly around her neck. They stayed like that for a moment.

"I've missed you." Cosima whispered to her.

"I've missed you more." Sarah replied in a rare sincere tone.

Behind them could be heard the sound of Alison clearing her throat, somewhat jealous of the bond the two had. Cosima rushed over to her hugging her too and thanking her for the party. Then to the woman she regarded her mother, Siobhan, to whom she had missed intensely ever since moving, especially after having developed such a close relationship with before.

The quietness of before was quickly replaced, Felix winked at Cosima as he put on some music and together they began to dance, Kira joining in, then Sarah and after much persuading, Alison. Glasses were flowing with champagne and wine, all provided by Alison who anxiously monitored everyone's actions until Felix convinced her to have a couple of drinks to relax. After dancing for what felt like hours, Cosima took a seat at the table with Sarah away from the deafening music.

"You had enough for now, ay?" She asked. Cosima laughed.

"I don't think my legs could take anymore to be honest."

She couldn't get over how lovely it was to be with Sarah again, to be with everybody together as a family unit. She looked back behind her and watched Alison and Felix dancing, Kira sitting on Siobhan's lap pointing and laughing. It was the definition of bliss.

"So, what's new with you?" Sarah, asked, taking a swig of her beer.

"Uh, like nothing apart from this really -"

"Bullshit." Sarah called it easily. "I know something's wrong Cos, I can tell, sisterly intuition and all that. What's up?"

Cosima was shocked at the claim, but more so by the accuracy of it entirely. She knew in her heart, this was the time to open up.

"Everything is happening too quick and I think I'm making a huge mistake. Something happened the other night Sarah, I haven't told anybody because I'm so worried."

"Oh god- don't tell me you've cheated again! I knew you were all about the ladies but-"

"No! No! And I've never cheated!"

"Then what is it?"

Cosima took a deep breath, she had been trying to avoid thinking about the moment this would happening for the past day, but at the same time she knew it could be a relief to get it off her chest, in order to think things through realistically.

"It's Shay. She asked me to marry her-"

"Oh fuck no Cos, don't tell me you said-?"

"Yes. I said yes. We were in a restaurant, everyone was looking right at us. I felt under pressure. I said yes and now I'm really, really scared."

"Shit." Was all Sarah could say. She looked round the room for a minute, before returning her eye contact back to Cosima.

"What are you gonna do?" She asked, a edge of concern in her voice.

"I honestly don't know. I mean, we've been together for two years now and for me that feels like a lifetime. You know this is the longest relationship I've ever had? It took me so long to open up, to adapt my lifestyle, to deny temptation but I actually committed myself to someone. Sometimes it feels like I did it for myself, to prove to myself I could do it, you know? You must think I sound cruel…"

"No, I think it's good to get things off your chest, you can say anything to me, you know that."

"I just...I miss the old me. I don't feel myself with Shay, I feel clingy and needy and that's not who I am. She's been acting so strange recently, I have a feeling that...Well, I don't want to say just in case-"

"Cosima, just say it."

Cosima paused for a moment. She swallowed a small lump in her throat. "I have a feeling Shay is cheating on me."

"Cheating?" Sarah repeated, her tone sharp, her eyes fiery. She had disliked Shay prior to this moment and so this information was further fuelling this hatred.

"She had texts from this guy at work saying he misses her, asking when she's coming back. She was in the bathroom whispering on the phone, even when I called her earlier it was like she was with somebody else. But then I wonder, why would she want me to marry her if that was the case?"

"I swear to God, if she doesn't give you the answers tomorrow, I'm gonna kick that girl's head in."

"What do you mean tomorrow?" Cosima asked, confused.

"The DYAD awards dummy!"

"Oh...about that...she's not coming…"

"WHAT?" Sarah involuntarily exclaimed, drawing various glances from around the room. She reminded herself to keep her voice low.

"She's honestly and definitely not coming?"

Cosima shook her head. "I feel like...I feel like just a moment ago I was living on the edge you know. Going out, socialising, making connections, all of that. But now, suddenly I'm engaged to someone who...who feels like a stranger to me now."

Sarah reached out and took Cosima's hand in hers. "I'm going to be honest with you geek monkey, you know me and Shay haven't always gotten on well, so I'm biased. But it's only because to me, it doesn't seem like she makes you happier than you've been before, or gives you butterflies or makes you want to arrange these big commitments like marriage. If you have been too worried about admitting your engagement to her and it's been over 24 hours since, what do you think that says about the state of affairs? Damn, the woman won't even come see you when you're nominated for the DYAD award, mate, I flew across an ocean and she can't even spare an evening? What does that say about her? The only thing I could want, is to see my family happy, to see you happy Cosima."

Seeing a sole tear fall from her cheek, Sarah reached over to wipe it away with her finger. Cosima had not been able to open up about her feelings in a long time, she had become closed off and she hadn't realised until now, but it had been killing her energy. Although she had to keep in mind Sarah's bias, she knew the points she were making were valid, along with her own emotions.

"Thank you" She whispered to her sister.

"It's all part of the service." Sarah joked, a gleam of sympathy in her eye. "You need to concentrate on yourself right now, that's the most important thing. I know it's your life and I support and respect your decisions regardless of what they are or what I think, but I think this needs to be thought through. You could get married tomorrow, and I would be there, I would make it damn clear that if she hurts you there will be repercussions, but I would be happy for you."

She squeezed Cosima's hand, looking into her eyes, "I'm just saying, you never know what or who is around the corner."


	4. Chapter 4

Sitting on the bed, clad only in her underwear, Cosima had already tried on five different outfits without success. She cursed at herself for not having been more organised prior to this, but her hangover from this morning had prevented her from being able to think about much. She hoisted herself up to have one last look through her wardrobe, pulling each hanger forward, dismissing the garments in which she had no interest. Just as she was about to give up she came across a red dress she had almost forgotten about, immediately taking it from the rail and trying it on. She stood in front of the mirror after pulling it over her head, smoothing out the light creases. It was a perfect fit, clinging in all the right areas. She couldn't help but smirk at her reflection, licking over her teeth, fully aware of how good she looked. It was clear this was the outfit of choice, and looking over at the clock which read 6:20pm she saw she didn't have much of one, else she'd be late. Grabbing for her scarf and collecting her possessions, she began to make her way towards the door. Pulling her phone out of her bag she saw a bombardment of messages and missed calls.

*SCOTT: WE'RE WALKING TO THE DYAD, MEET YOU OUTSIDE*

*SARAH: WHERE ARE YOU?*

*SARAH: 10 MINS AWAY*

*SHAY: TEXT ME WHEN YOU CAN. GOOD LUCK!*

Just then another call came through, she made a mental note never to leave her phone on silent before important events.

"Hello? Sarah?"

"Cosima, finally. Where are you? We're outside."

"I'm-I'm just coming now, give me two seconds and I'll be down." She replied, balancing her phone against her shoulder as she wrapped her coat around her.

"Well, hurry! None of us want you to be late to this thing." With that Sarah hung up.

"Shit. Shit. Shit." She whispered to herself. "Phone, keys, invites, check check, check."

Forcing herself she scurried out of her apartment, and made her way outside. As she came out onto the concrete a car parked in front honked. The windows rolled down revealing Sarah and Felix in the passenger seats.

"Oi, get in you!"

Laughing she opened the door and got into the back seat.

"You look amazing, darling." Felix noted, receiving a full smile from the dreaded woman in return.

"I never knew you had such a nice ride, Sarah." Cosima complimented, admiring the interior.

"Yeah, well this is what you get when you have a mum with connections ain't it." She smirked.

It didn't take long for the three of them to arrive at the DYAD. It was busier than it ever has been before, with a queue of cars waiting to be parked and men and women donning smart attire. Seeing the length of the queue, Cosima groaned. The awards were scheduled to begin soon and the last thing she wanted was to be late.

"Fuck this." Sarah announced, pulling away from the line. She rolled down the window and shouted over at the valet.

"Oi...OI MATE! Excuse me-yeah, you. My sister, has been nominated for an award here tonight, is there anyway you could do us any favours."

The young man looked from her, to Felix and then to Cosima in the back seat, his eyes froze when they saw her, before looking back at Sarah.

"Yes ma'am. Of course." He finally choked out. The three of them hopped out of the car allowing him to park it.

"Sarah you are a life saver-"

"Cosima Niehaus? Miss Niehaus?" Called voices from behind, turning round Cosima was faced with dozens of journalists and photographers, asking her different questions at the same time.

"Could we please have a few words? This is for Weekly Scientist magazine."

She spoke to the journalists for a few minutes, bewildered by the sudden attention. Never before had she been in such a situation, attracting the likes of reporters, she didn't know the right way to handle them all. Luckily for her, her sister seemed too, dragging her from the crowd.

"We're gonna be late come on Cos. Wait - over there, isn't that Scott?"

Cosima took Felix by the arm and the three of them walked towards the entrance, where surely enough Scott stood awkwardly alongside Gracie, his date for the evening. The two of them looked good together, it had to be admired. There was something shy and innocent about them both which made them entirely compatible. He smiled goofily at Cosima as he saw her approaching.

"Scott, how're you doing buddy?" She asked with a wink. She had already anticipated the blush forming at his cheeks.

"I'm good, yeah. Uh, everyone this is Gracie...my….my date for the evening." He forced out, hesitantly but proudly. Felix blew a wolf whistle, bringing laughter for Sarah who playfully slapped him on the arm.

"Cosima, it's so lovely to meet you," Began Gracie, taking her hand in her palm, "Thank you for letting Scott invite me, I've really enjoyed reading your research."

"And it's great to meet you! Now how about we all go in and have a drink, right?" She proposed, eager to get away from the loitering reporters.

Inside, the DYAD looked completely unrecognisable. After working there for many years, even Cosima was shocked by the presence of bright lights and occupied chairs neatly tucked under tables, which held bottles of champagne and flute glasses. They were escorted to their designated seats, a table near the front and sat just as the presentation was to begin. Whispers arose at the sight of the brunette, word had spread she was in the running. Just then Leekie came on stage,being recepted with applause. It had begun.

"Hello, and welcome to the 32nd annual DYAD awards." He began.

Sarah and Felix had already started pouring drinks and Scott and Gracie sat gushing at their close proximity on the opposite side.

"Now, we have a special guest tonight, who has travelled a long way in order to present the award tonight. It is with great pleasure that I can also confirm she will be joining us here at the DYAD in our immunology department from next week. Please put your hands together, for Dr Delphine Cormier."

There.

There it happened. A long stride onto centre stage, a light beaming directly down upon her, illuminating the golden curls which hung so delicately and without effort. Hazel eyes searching through the crowd, confident and friendly, she caught sight of Cosima's gaze for a lingering moment. Cosima, who was so on edge of her seat without realising, her heart a slow organ, barely beating, barely breathing, in awe of such a woman and so suddenly. Her lips pursed, as though about to communicate a special language, a language only known by the two women, in those few seconds. So euphoric, it could have been a dream.

"Thank you Dr Leekie. I welcome you all, Ladies and Gentlemen…"

Cosima's heart stopped, that voice, that accent, each syllable rolled off her tongue like a melody. Against her will, she blocked out everything, everyone, any sound that wasn't coming from the lips of the beautiful French woman in front of her. She took a moment to take her in, she was wearing a black and white dress which emphasised the curve of her hips, but revealed the length of her legs, with heels which added even more height to her natural stature. Her skin looked soft, her lips rouged, it was a sight she couldn't resist.

With a thud, she felt her shin knocked from under the table, it was Felix staring right at her with a smirk, clearly acknowledging her captivated awe. Shaking her head she tried to dismiss the overwhelming feeling, she knew it was inappropriate for such a time.

"This year's winner has been chosen for their highly intricate, thorough research. I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to be one of the first to read it and I personally believe it to be one of the biggest contributions to science in the 21st century. It is with the greatest of pleasure I can say Cosima Niehaus has won this year's DYAD awards."

The crowd erupted into cheers and applause in an instant, almost as if expecting it. Around her people moved from their chairs into a standing ovation, everyone around looking towards her table direction. Sarah immediately hugged Cosima who was still sat down, in shock of her name coming from the blonde woman's lips. Followed by Scott, wrapping his arms round her neck, his eyes had a twinkle as though possessing overjoyed tears. She must have been the only person in the room still sitting down, completely immersed in disbelief.

'Cosima, she's waiting for you.' Felix teased, nodding his head in the direction of the blonde on stage.

Attempting to rid her thoughts of the overwhelming mindset, she at last found her feet. The room suddenly seemed to stretch so far in a way she hadn't realised before. Everyone on her table, everyone in the room, seemed to be in delight at the sight of her, it filled her with a much needed confidence. She begun to walk up the steps, one by one, and approach the centre stage, forcing herself to look at the blonde again, this time up and personal. If she didn't think it was possible that she could get anymore beautiful, she was wrong. It was up close she noticed the extent of definition in her curls, the mole of her cheek, the plump of her lip. But there was also something she couldn't ignore, the expression of undeniable shock on her face. It was strange, Cosima thought, for the blonde knew she was the winner, of course she had known, and yet it seemed she had not anticipated the brunette. However, she seemed to shake off the expression once in arms reach. She stretched her hand out, the other holding the award itself, and Cosima, suddenly aware of every motion she carried out, took the blonde's palm into her own. She felt like every nerve tingled when she felt how soft and delicate it was on her own, her chest felt swollen and her heart beat against her ribs ever faster.

"Félicitations!" Delphine spoke, just as softly as her palm felt. Her eyes had a gleam in them, her pupils growing.

'Thank you...uh, merci." Cosima replied, laughing in an embarrassed way, fully aware of her lack of French vocabulary.

Handing her the award, Cosima stood now in front of the microphone. She had no idea she would win, no idea she had even been nominated until yesterday. It would have been easier to dismiss it as a dream, something she had wanted to achieve since before she could remember and now here she was. Once the applause had died down, she spoke.

"I have to be honest, I uh- I didn't have much prepared and I was not expecting this at all. I just need to thank everyone here at the DYAD who chose me, this is truly a milestone in my life and without the opportunities they have given me I wouldn't be here today. I need to say a huge thank you to Scott, my lab partner, who without I could not have completely the research."

She looked towards Scott who blushed at the mention, Gracie snuggled up next to him in an admiring way.

"And I want to say thank you, to my family, who flew out yesterday for this and who inspire me constantly. Sarah, Felix, Kira, Siobhan, this is for you."

She paused as the crowd, whistled and clapped at her speech. A fleeting thought of Shay skimmed her mind. This was single handedly the most important event in her whole career, and she wasn't there. In a way she felt betrayed by her absence, knowing full well that if the situation had been the other way round, it would be completely different. But the thought couldn't dampened Cosima's mood.

"Science, has always been a calling for me. I remember when I was young, and I must warn you, I've been clever since I was like, six, I was just fascinated by everything it represented, it's truly an honour to be part of the science world, standing here in this building with you all right now. And I can safely assure you, this is only the start. Thank you."

She looked back at the blonde who stood at the side of the stage. Cosima suddenly felt shy, a feeling she was hardly ever exposed to, knowing that Delphine had heard her speak, had infact hung on to every word she spoke with such passion. She walked off stage, where she was congratulated by her colleagues and Dr Leekie, all of whom thought her a more than deserving winner, before making her way back to her table. The atmosphere had changed, it wasn't until now she noticed how intense it had previously been, but it was much more sociable and lively in the room now. Everyone lit on upon her arrival.

"There she is." Felix said as she pulled her seat from under the chair.

"How does it feel Cos, being super clever and all that." Sarah teased, slightly tipsy.

"I feel like none of this is real it's crazy." She laughed. Sarah poured her a drink and they began to talk collectively. It was the best feeling to be with them all, to see Sarah and Felix playfully arguing and Scott and Gracie being soppy together. But something felt missing.

Just then she felt a hand upon her shoulder, turning around she was shocked to see Delphine standing there, her smile baring her perfectly white teeth.

"Bonjoir, Cosima." She started. Cosima immediately stood up from her to greet the woman in return. The blonde's face was so familiar, as she couldn't rid the sight from her mind, and yet it still shocked the deadlocked woman to be reminded of her beauty.

"Hey, Delphine. How- how are you?" She asked, trying to hide her excitement.

"I'm very good, I just came to say congratulations properly. You know- I am a big fan of your work."

Cosima cleared her throat, not knowing what to say to the compliment. Luckily she was cut off by a voice behind her.

"Dr Cormier, it's so lovely to meet you. My name is Gracie, I work in immunology too." Said the ginger girl, who, unlike Cosima, found it impossible to hide her excited tone.

'Enchanté Gracie, I expect we will be spending some time together soon. I am looking forward to working here at the DYAD, so many interesting people, you know?" She said, looking in Cosima's direction.

Working at the DYAD. She vaguely recalled the French woman mentioning something along those lines in her speech, but now those words settled in. Cosima found it hard to imagine, being able to see Delphine's face on a regular basis, to hear her voice.

"Why don't you join us?" Felix asked, he had a smirk on his face and Cosima knew this was an attempt to make her feel embarrassed.

'I wouldn't want to intrude I mean-'

'No no no, please you wouldn't be intruding at all.' Cosima interrupted, surprising herself and everyone else.

'You sure?' The blonde reaffirmed.

'Yes, it would be my pleasure.'

Cosima took a vacant seat from the table next to theirs and placed it next her own seat, allowing Delphine to sit by her side. Instantly she could smell the floral scent of Delphine's perfume, it lingered as though only for Cosima's nose, a fragrance so sweet. It wasn't long before the two started talking, they had much more in common than Cosima could have anticipated. Cosima spoke of her work, her goals, her interests, whilst Delphine spoke of her own, of her inspirations, of France. The two of them looked at each other attentively whilst they spoke, afraid to miss the slightest expression. So engaged with each other they were, they failed to notice the snickering of a drunk Sarah and Felix who observed the whole thing and Gracie and Scott who had began to get ready to leave.

"Hey…Cosima, me and Gracie were thinking about leaving now." Scott informed her, his arm around the smaller ginger woman.

"Oh right cool, cool." She got up and hugged him goodbye. "You're so in." She whispered in his ear, provoking reddening cheeks.

"I'm so happy for you." He said to her, sincerely.

She said her farewells to both him and Gracie before returning to the table. Looking at her watch she was shocked to see it was now 11pm, the room which was once full now half empty. Delphine watched her as she did so, herself unaware of the time and surprised to see what it actually was.

"Did you have any plans for after this?" Delphine asked the table.

"Nah, well, Mrs S has Kira for the night so I'm pretty much up for anything." Sarah said, with Felix nodding in agreement.

"I hadn't really thought this far." Cosima answered, honestly.

"Well, you know there is this-this party going on at club neolution if any of you are interested." She suggested, pulling out a flyer from her bag.

Sarah took the flyer enthusiastically. "$2 shots, count me in." Both she and Felix agreed.

Delphine smiled at this, looking back to Cosima.

"What do you say, Cosima?" She whispered.

The way she said her name sent a shiver run through her body. Three syllables never sounded so good from anyone's lips. And maybe it was for that reason that she agreed to go with her that night and ignore the thoughts of what Shay would think, guilty for the attraction she felt for another blonde.

There you go guys, the beginning of Cophine. Just like Cosima in this chapter, just want to say a massive thank you to everyone who has followed favourited and reviewed this story. It honestly motivates me everyday to continue and I'm really enjoying writing it :)


	5. Chapter 5

Neon lights, flashing bright green over blue, mirrored the rapid beat of the music in club Neolution. None of the four had anticipated the busy rave-style club they found themselves in, but all were drunk enough not to mind. Cosima felt a strange pang of nostalgia to be back in a night club after so long, her and Sarah used to joke that they were her second home. She was surprised however, to see how enthusiastic Delphine was. When they had been on their way Delphine would often walk ahead with Sarah or Felix, laughing and joking with them, stealing quick glances at the brunette behind every so often. It felt like ages since she had this feeling, one of having someone she liked included. It sounded illogical, she knew it her head it was, they had only known each other for a couple of hours, but she already felt a connection with the blonde. She found herself wanting to be near her at every given moment of the night. It was just a bonus that the four of them got on so well.

Once inside, Sarah and Felix gestured towards the dance floor, leaving Delphine and Cosima at the bar. It was quieter there, meaning they could actually hear one another if they spoke with a shout. Both of them sat at bar stools, Cosima taking out her purse to buy drinks. Delphine placed her palm upon her hand immediately, it made Cosima feel fuzzy.

"Non, non. Don't you dare, this is your night. Let me pay."

Without waiting for any sort of response from Cosima, she took her card from her bag and began to call over a bartender.

"Two mojitos please."

Cosima couldn't help her surprise at hearing the French woman's order. She had been drinking champagne all night, there was no way Delphine could have known mojito was her favourite cocktail.

"I hope you don't mind, but I think you will love it."

Before she could reply the drinks already came, Delphine insisting on her to try it. The blonde watched her, as she took the straw between her lips and tasted the beverage she knew she already loved.

"It tastes amazing." Cosima said, amused by Delphine's excitement.

"I can't hear you." Delphine replied, Cosima couldn't tell if she was being playful or genuine. Nonetheless she dipped her head forward, towards the blonde's ear, dangerously close, their cheeks touching. Cosima could feel the heat radiating from the blonde, all she wanted was to nuzzle into the woman, the smell of her perfume, enticing her more than ever.

"I said, it tastes amazing." She repeated, in a low, husky tone.

She could have swore she felt Delphine shiver, her eyes shut momentarily making the most of the intimacy between the two. Cosima pulled her face away, unwilling and slowly. She watched as the blonde woman tried to occupy herself by tasting her own drink, upon her first sip she nodded in approval.

"Very nice." She mouthed to Cosima, making the brunette laugh.

Looking out into the crowd it was easy to spot Sarah and Felix, as they were the least unusual looking in the entire club, not to mention that Felix had currently taken to pole dancing in the middle of the dance floor. It was this sort of entertainment she had missed these past years, it felt like an age ago and yet it also felt like yesterday, as though a paradox of a metaphysical.

Cosima felt her phone suddenly vibrating on her leg through her bag, she reached in to take it out. There on the screen she saw Shay's number calling her. There was no point in answering it, she thought. They wouldn't be able to hear each other anyway, and besides, she could have been there herself in person if she had wanted to. However, she couldn't ignore the part of her which felt relieved that she hadn't come, for if not she would have not been able to experience what she was right now, to be with Delphine at the bar as they were. She decided to send Shay a quick text, explaining that she was safe and that they would speak in the morning.

"Are you okay, Cosima?"

It was enough to make her melt, she couldn't get over the way Delphine's accent made her name sound so good. It made her legs feel weak.

"Yeah, yeah. Everything's good." She assured with a smile.

"Then what do you say about dancing with me?"

It was a question and yet she allowed the brunette no time to respond. Before Cosima knew, Delphine had already stood up, her drink in one hand, the other interlocked in Cosima's own, and was leading her towards the dance floor. Delphine's slender fingers were cool from having previously been clutching at the drink glass, it felt good against the warmth of Cosima's. Once amongst the tightly packed crowd they began to dance, the lights were much dimmer on the dance floor, but she could still make out the blonde's features, the smile on her lips as she moved to the rhythm. Both of them laughed as they danced, Cosima downing her cocktail whole and placing the empty glass amongst others on a side and Delphine soon followed suit.

It didn't take long for the alcohol to effect Cosima, she felt a rush of confidence wave over her. She soon found herself getting closer and closer to the blonde, she couldn't decide whether it was due to her own body bringing the tight proximity, or the others around pushing them together. Either way she welcomed the rising heat alive between them. Without a second thought, purely impulsive, she placed her hand around Delphine's waist, pulling her in and closing the gap between them. Delphine let out an inaudible sigh at the brunette's touch from behind her, the length of her back against Cosima's front. She couldn't distinguish whether the throb of her heart was from all the dancing or from the motion. She looked over her shoulder at the brunette, she couldn't hide her pleasure at the gesture. Cosima took this as a positive sign, moving her other hand so they both rested on Delphine's waist. Delphine ran her hands up her sides, grazing over Cosima's knuckles whose hold grew ever tighter, she began to roll her hips against the dreaded woman, pulling her hair to one side as she did so, revealing her bare neck. A sensory overload of a kind had never felt so good, she could feel Delphine grinding against her groin, she could see the newly revealed, unmarked territory of Delphine's neck, she was so close her lips could have touched it. She knew it was wrong, she knew in her gut that she was betraying her internalised moral compass by having these thoughts, by having the feelings Delphine's physical intimacy provoked, but she couldn't restrain from it.

"Cosima!" She heard, a British accent call over the thumping music.

It was enough to snap her out of the trance she had been in, releasing her hands from Delphine quickly. Looking over towards the direction of the call she saw Sarah, who had now joined Felix on the pole, playfully spinning around it. She beckoned for the two of them to join, however, this time Delphine wasn't eager to drag her away. There was something in her eye that told Cosima she had a desire for more. Regardless she couldn't ignore her sister, this time she took Delphine's hand and led her up to the platform which she found her brother and sister on. Both of them were hot from dancing, their palms burning together, as though holding fire. Once they were reunited they danced together, Felix taking Delphine and swirling her round, the two of them nearly the same height.

"You seem to be enjoying yourself." Sarah said, her voice slightly slurred and a smirk coated upon her lips.

"I am, I totally forgot how good it feels to be back in a club."

"I can tell."

After a couple more drinks and dances, they decided to call it a night. It was hard to tell who was more sober than the other, the four of them giggling as they exited the building, being exposed to the crisp morning air.

"So what's the plan?" Sarah asked, it's clear from her tone she could easily carry on partying.

"I think I'm gonna jet off, but you are all welcome to come back to my place if you fancy it." Cosima said, looking at the blonde longingly to spot her reaction. it became clear it was time to start heading home.

"I'll go get us a taxi." Sarah declared, stumbling towards the cabs, Felix following her, leaving just Cosima and Delphine alone once again.

"I hope you've had a wonderful time, Cosima." Her tone was genuine and soft. Cosima couldn't believe how flawless the French woman looked still, she imagined herself with smeared eyeliner and frizzy baby hairs from the humidity, but Delphine was still just as beautiful as how she entered.

"Yeah, it's been incredible. I almost don't want it to be over."

There was a silence, where they simply looked at each other. It was as though they both had something they wanted to say, something they wanted to admit.

"Cos, we've got one!" Sarah called.

Cosima nodded at her sister, before looking back at the blonde.

"Coming?" She asked, hopeful for even the slightest second longer in Delphine's company.

"Unfortunately I live over the other side of town." She said with a faint smile.

"Well, why don't you come back to mine for the night?" Cosima asked without thinking, she had already arranged to have Sarah and Felix back at hers, to save them getting into trouble with Siobhan.

Delphine seemed startled by this, it was clear from her expression. It hit the brunette in the chest, she suddenly began to feel like she had made a huge mistake. Just as she was about to defend her invitation, Delphine opened her mouth to speak.

"I'm-I'm not sure-"

"Come on, it's only a place to crash. I can call you a cab in the morning? No pressure or anything, just with it being late and all, I just thought…"

Delphine cracked a smile, stopping Cosima from going off on a tangient.

"Okay." She said, simply. So simple it was, Cosima could barely believe what she heard.

"Okay?" Cosima, repeated, reaffirming she had heard correctly.

"Oui."

Cosima couldn't deny herself the blazing smile that spread across her lips. She didn't have time to consider the implications that could come with this invite, too overwhelmed was she to even consider one more second with Delphine being a bad thing. Together they walked towards the taxi, their hands brushing lightly against each other, whether by accident or not it was hard to tell.

They reached Cosima's apartment in barely no time at all. The brunette unlocking the door and inviting everyone into the comfort of her abode. She could still feel the alcohol in her system, as she could see it in the others. Sarah walked straight to the kitchen, clearly trying to find something.

"Cos, you got any vodka or anything?" She called.

"Look on top of the cupboards!"

Cosima directed Delphine to the sofa, trying in her drunken haze to be as hospitable as she could to the blonde. They sat close together, Felix slouched on the chair opposite them. Soon Sarah came back accompanied by the long sought after vodka.

"We're going to play a game." Sarah declared, placing the bottle down onto the table with a ching.

"And what did you have in mind dearest sister?" Felix asked, amused.

"Never have I ever. We take in to ask the group something and whoever has done it must drink."

Cosima looked over at Delphine who seemed somewhat familiar with the game and all four of them sat on the floor around the coffee table. The evening had felt like a whirlwind to Cosima, it would have been hard enough to follow in a sober mind, yet alone now. First the award, then meeting Delphine, going to the club, now drinking games. She racked her brain trying to think of the last time she had such a fun and eventful night.

"Never have I ever took a piss in public." Sarah announced, as though purposefully wanting another shot. Both Felix and Cosima followed her in downing the bleach like substance.

"Eugh you guys!" Delphine laughed, watching Cosima's face as she tried to shake off the bad taste.

"Never have I ever won a DYAD Award." Delphine followed, shooting a playful smile at the brunette by her side and the three of them drinking.

"Fucking hell this shit is strong." Sarah spluttered, though showing no sign of stopping.

"If you'd ask me yesterday it would be been a different story." Cosima winked at the blonde.

"Never have I ever had a threesome!" Felix shouted, before they all erupted into laughter.

Straight away both him and Sarah took a shot, Cosima suddenly became aware of the Delphine's gentle eyes in her direction. But soon she was even more conscious of Sarah's who knew of her old antics and her lack of shot taking.

"Come on, we know all know what you were like." She insisted, handing the bottle to her.

Cosima reluctantly drank the shot, fretting to look at Delphine. She felt worried of jeopardizing the image she had given, that of the true her, not of the impulsive her of the past.

"Not any more though, you're whipped now aren't you Cos." Sarah persisted to the brunettes dismay. It was never her intention to lie about Shay, she just didn't want the memory of her to ruin the time she was having.

"Whipped? I don't think I have heard of this?" Delphine asked amused but confused by the conversation

There was an awkward pause in which both Sarah and Felix knew it wasn't their place to say. Both of them could see the clear unspoken attraction between the two, however neither had a clue of Cosima's intentions and weren't about to tell Delphine about Shay themselves.

"I don't know about you lot, but I'm feeling exhausted after tonight." Felix said, breaking the silence with an exaggerated stretch.

"Yeah me too, you mind if we catch a few hours?" Sarah agreed, looking over at Cosima.

"Uh yeah, yeah sure. I'll go get you some sheets."

The four of them stood up, Cosima smiling at Delphine and gesturing her to follow where they found themselves together, alone in her bedroom for the first time. So quiet you could hear a pin drop, they stood, looking into each other's eyes, both content with simply looking at each other, observing each other's features in the fresh light of the approaching dawn.

"You sleep here for tonight," Cosima started, pointing towards the double bed. "I'll take the couch. Do you need anything? Water, or?"

Her voice trailed off, as she saw something gleam in Delphine's eyes. She could feel her body completely awe ridden, looking up at the woman in front of her. So intelligent, so concise, so meticulous, so- beautiful. She felt herself being controlled, not by the alcohol and not against her will, but by the universe when she found herself reaching out for Delphine's waist, pulling her in tight against her body, like a dream. In any single other circumstance she would have felt the raging guilt swelling in her gut, it wasn't typical of her nature. But this was different. This urging of her body, of her mind to connect in any way with Delphine was so far from typical. Lost in thought and the smell of perfume, Cosima's eyes drifted open when met with the warmth of Delphine's palm against her had resumed a proximity which resembled the one they had when at club Neolution, but there was no denying it now. They both had wanted it.

"COSIMA YOU HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN ABOUT US HAVE YOU?" Felix shouted from the spare room, cutting the tension like a knife.

Apologising to the blonde and in a hurry to return, she grabbed the sheets and took them into Sarah and Felix's room for the night.

"Don't lose yourself Cos." Sarah told her before she left, though it was hard to take her seriously in the vodka induced state she was in.

Cosima felt her heart racing as she approached her bedroom for a second time, turning the handle, unknowing of what to anticipate. When she did, she was faced with the back of the blonde, who was sitting upon her bed. But there was something distinctively different this time, the atmosphere had shifted dramatically somehow.

"Delphine?" She whispered, making the blonde jump and face her immediately.

"Oh-Cosima. I - uh," The stammering of the French woman's accent was not something Cosima was accustom to.

"May I use your bathroom?" She finally managed.

"Yeah, of course. It's just down the hall to the left, do you want me to show y-?"

"No, no I'm okay. Thank you though." The blonde interrupted abruptly.

She got up from the bed, not even stopping to hover near Cosima's presence as the brunette had hoped, simply closing the door behind her with a small and sad smile. Cosima knew straight away something was up. Perhaps she had pushed it too far with Delphine, maybe alcohol had blurred her limits and she had made a huge mistake. But the signals had seemed so clear at the time. She moved to sit in the same spot that Delphine was in a few seconds ago, the duvet still crinkled from being beneath her. Sighing heavily, she put her head into her hands and began to massage her temples, not looking forward to how she would feel when she woke up, but something caught her attention from the corner of her eye. On her bed side table, just where Delphine had been facing, there was a frame, possessing inside an old picture of herself and Shay looking at each other in a way that only lovers do. Except the frame had been shifted slightly. Suddenly it struck Cosima, the change in atmosphere was because she had realised that Cosima was not as available as she had portrayed herself to be.

Knowing she had a lot of explaining to do she walked to the bathroom in an attempt to give Delphine the truth she deserved, the truth that Cosima herself could not still accept, but in hope she would understand. Knocking gently on the door she awaited a response, with not avail.

"Delphine?" She called quietly, and then once again a little louder.

Without any reply there was only one thing to do. Cautiously she began to open the bathroom door, in a way that Delphine would know to expect her.

But there it was.

Empty.

Delphine had gone as quickly as how she had came.

Thank you for your continued support everyone! It took me so long to write this chapter for some reason but everytime I get a review or follower or fav I just feel like I need to complete this thing. Let me know what you think so far!


	6. Chapter 6

The brunette awoke to the lingering smell of vodka from her lips. The bed sheet hardly managed to wrap round her and still fully clothed, she looked over at the clock which signalled it was noon. It felt like there was a brick in her mind, preventing her from accessing information from the hours earlier, foggy were her thoughts that when she finally realised how the night had ended she wanted to stay in bed forever. She cursed in her head and aloud for her actions and for believing the distorted reality she had accepted as truth. Cosima had always loved to push boundaries, explore the territories that others feared, but under these circumstances it had been the wrong thing to do, she knew that as soon as she remembered.

Looking over at the picture of her and Shay on the table, she began to think properly, for the first time in these whirlwind of days, of what she truly wanted. She had postponed it for a long time, under the impression that this was how it was meant to feel after been in a long term relationship, as it was for Cosima, but she knew things weren't right.

After a while her thoughts drifted painfully back to the blonde who had been sitting on her bed only a short while before. Delphine's presence had felt somehow enigmatic, she was too incredible to be real and part of Cosima thought her departure was inevitable. Somewhat of a self fulfilling prophecy, for how could someone like the French woman be drawn to someone like her? The memory of seeing the defined golden curls as she walked back in the second time replayed over in her head like a broken record, signalling the abrupt end.

The sound of cluttering about from the living room was enough to edge Cosima's thoughts away from Delphine for a second. She remembered she was still in company of Sarah and Felix, unbeknownst of the events which had occurred. She knew she would have some explaining to do to more than one person. Getting out of her bed she walked into the other room, where Sarah and Felix sprawled on the couch, clearly hung over.

"Afternoon you two." Cosima managed, her voice was croaky.

"Ahhhh, no so loud." Sarah replied, putting her hand to her head, slowly.

"I'll make us some coffee."

* * *

After checking up with Kira and Siobhan, Sarah decided to take Cosima out for an afternoon breakfast, the perfect remedy for a hangover. Felix had gone to visit Alison reluctantly as he had promise yesterday, unaware of the night he was to have that evening, so it was just the two of them. Up until now they had been making small talk, but Cosima knew, infact, she anticipated the words to come from Sarah lips.

"So, what happened last night?"

She had envisioned Sarah asking her that question as well as her own response over and over in her head. There were multitudes of replies she could give, the blonde had to leave early or she didn't feel comfortable. But honesty, especially with Sarah, was always the best policy.

"She left. Last night." Cosima muttered, too ashamed to look her sister in the eyes.

'What do you mean?"

There was a pause in which Cosima took time to articulate the most accurate answer.

"I fucked it up. I fucked it up as soon as I invited her to come back to mine. When she was in my room she saw a picture of me and Shay it was obvious that I wasn't available and yet I sort of made myself out to be."

"Sort of? Cos, not to take the piss but you two were getting...pretty close last night. She was well into you."

Cosima groaned at those words. It was confirmation that she had indeed read the signals and that any sort of connection they had was mutual. A part of her assumed that Delphine may have been straight, being a heteronormative society and all that, maybe it had just been curiosity she thought but then she remembered how they had danced in club Neolution together.

"Do you really think she liked me?" Cosima asked, as though to pain herself more.

"From what I saw she couldn't keep away from you. Anyone could see it, clear as day."

Putting her head in her hands she looked into the empty coffee mug in front of her. She could have never expected this, this had never been in the equation or her agenda, the French woman had her feeling regret in a way she had never experienced.

"I don't know what I'm doing anymore, Sarah. It was one night, I know, but the way she looked at me, the way she spoke, the way she held herself. It felt so different to anyone I've ever met. I felt so, so alive."

Sarah took a moment, processing Cosima's words. She knew this behaviour was highly unlike the brunette, she wasn't one to pine after another, she sometimes wasn't even one to own up to her mistakes. Yet here she was declaring her unrequited attraction with such vulnerability, it took her aback slightly.

"You know I'm in no position to judge what to do, or even give advice, but I will give you this. I haven't seen you that happy in a long time. I think you need to reevaluate your circumstance because this doesn't seem to be what you really want. If you want to pursue Delphine then I think you two are a pretty good match based on last night, you've got chemistry, and you're both - you know -" She paused to tap at her temple. "Smart and that." She settled with, making Cosima laugh.

"You're right. I think that I need to apologise to Delphine, for leading her astray and then speak with Shay when she comes back. Whenever that is anyway…"

"You haven't heard from her?"

"I spoke with her last night, she said well done to me. I guess I should be grateful for that or something."

There was a pause. Cosima could almost feel the anger that Sarah so desperately was trying to tame at the mention of Shay. Luckily the waitress came over just in time to give them the bill, she was a bubbly young girl and she flashed Cosima a smile impossible to ignore. As she walked away Cosima and Sarah looked at each other smirking, as Cosima took the bill she saw writing on the back which read: CALL ME ;) - CHLOE followed by her number. As she looked up she saw the blonde girl who in turn winked at her flirtatiously before carrying on with her duties.

"Wow, get in there Cos." Sarah laughed. "Apparently blondes have a thing for you."

"Oh shhhhh." Cosima replied, batting her away, trying to prevent the gesture from inflating her ego.

Without intention to call, she took the bill and left a healthy tip before leaving the cafe with her self esteem at an all time high.

* * *

"You did what?!" Scott exclaimed.

"Scotty! You promised you wouldn't judge!"

Cosima had returned to work that afternoon, she had been the constant recipricant of congratulations and well dones and her pride had been booming. However, after returning to the lab and talking with Scott the only thing she was receiving now was confirmation she had made a dick move

"I'm not judging you Cosima. I just think you made a bad choice in asking Delphine to come back with you. One, you're engaged! Two, you barely know the woman and three, what were you thinking!?"

Although it could have been easy to resent Scott for his words she knew it was true, every word he said was true and she was grateful for his honesty.

"I don't know...I was drunk. But I just…" She stopped mid sentence as she thought about Delphine, the image of her on the stage, of her in the club as they danced so fluently together, of her in her bedroom. She didn't have any intention of cheating as a malicious act, like Scott was referring. There was just an energy between them that was undeniable, no matter how hard she tried she wouldn't have been able to stop herself from drawing the French woman in. But there was no way Scott would understand that.

"I'm going to apologise as soon as I see her. She starts next week right, so I'll catch her then."

"Well, actually…" Scott paused, not knowing whether he should go on or not.

"What is it?" Cosima asked, aware that he possessed some sort of information she didn't.

"She's actually been here today. I spoke to Gracie at lunch, she said that Leekie has been showing her round already."

Cosima felt as though her heart stopped for a couple of beats. Many thoughts rushed to her head all at once and she couldn't think straight for a couple of moments. Suddenly the idea of apologising seemed daunting, as though the wound was still fresh, and secondly she couldn't believe she stood in the same building as the woman she had so desperately wanted, and still did, only hours before.

"She is?" She reaffirmed, receiving a confident nod from Scott.

"Well, shit."

"There's no point in worrying about it now, Cosima. There's not much you can do. For all you know she might have left already. We've got work here to do."

But there was no stopping her now, she had her head straight and she needed to clear her conscience, else it would stalk her like an intruder in the night. She needed to find Leekie and get to Delphine, to explain as well as she could what had happened, though she hadn't figured how she was going to explain something that not even she had a firm understanding of.

Soon she was out of the lab and down the corridor, the sound of Scott's shouts wailing after her but rendered useless. She took the stairs first and went to the immunology labs where she expected the blonde would spend most of her time. After looking around without any sign of the blonde she began to rack her brain of places where else she might be, when she felt someone touch her arm. It was Gracie, though she looked different, she had the glow of one who was happy and in love.

"Hey Cosima, what are you doing here?" She asked, confused but happy at her presence, perhaps hoping that Scott had sent her.

"Uh, I'm actually looking for Delphine, you know Dr Cormier. Do you have any idea where she might be? Scott said you saw her earlier."

"Yeah I did. My best guess would be she's still with Leekie somewhere. He's been keeping her quite close today."

"Okay, cool. Thanks a lot, I'll see you around Gracie." And with that the brunette rushed off, once again in search of Delphine.

A while had passed and Cosima had given up, she had searched all sorts of labs she hardly knew existed, had checked the lunch hall on several occasions and she had even asked at reception but there was no sign of Leekie or Delphine. She decided to go back to the lab where she was greeted by a relieved Scott who simply wanted to get their work done. There were many DNA sample they had to run through and compare as part of their newest research and it wasn't going to be done with Cosima running off.

Trying her hardest to ignore her preoccupation, Cosima immersed herself in the work they had to complete together. It was one of the only things in life that she had and loved. Working on and progressing with scientific achievements was immeasurably satisfying to her and kept her at bay. She knew she would always have science, it was a fixed variable in her life. When she looked at the unfixed ones in her life, it was clear, she knew that there were certain things that wouldn't last forever, certain people she wouldn't be with until death. It was becoming quite clear to her that she was trying to maintain a burning candle that was desperate to die out. So science had always been a safe haven.

Eventually they ran through all the samples, having recorded each one as they had progressed and all was done for the day. Looking at her watch she saw it was 10.38pm, a time which shocked Cosima as the artificial lighting gave the impression it was still rather early, she guessed around 7 or 8. She packed up her stuff as Scott stored the data on the computer.

"You want a lift home?" He offered, as he typically did.

"Sure, thanks bud. I didn't realise the time at all."

"Okay, meet me at reception. I've got to...go to the bathroom before we leave." He grinned at the brunette, under the impression he had successfully avoided making it obvious that he wanted to check and see if Gracie was still at the lab.

With her possessions in tow, she made her way to the elevator, completely oblivious to the sign which declared "WARNING: FAULTY" and went inside, clicking for the ground floor. Once inside she pressed for the ground floor. She knew that she would have to speak to Shay tonight in some shape or form, they hadn't conversed since the previous night and it was clear they desperately needed to. It was as though Cosima had realised that she needed to take control of the situation, that didn't make her clingy and it would make her happier in the long run, she was sure of it.

Suddenly the doors of the elevator sprung open, to reveal a white corridor, and not the ground floor. Looking over at the buttons she saw the button clearly illuminated that she should be in reception right now, where Scott would be expecting her soon. She clicked the button repeatedly with nothing happening as a result. Just then she heard the sound of a door opening down the hall, accompanied by laughter, a laugh so sweet it sang to her. There coming from his office, was Dr Leekie followed by Delphine. It was enough to make Cosima stop pushing the buttons for a minute, mesmerised by the blonde even from afar. However, there was something uncomfortable about the scene. She watched as Leekie snuck his hand from her shoulder slowly down to her waist, she could feel herself growing angry at the motion. He whispered something in her ear, but she did not hear Delphine's reply, her back was all that was facing her. He dipped his head down again, as though to nuzzle between the curls near her neck. Words were forming in her throat, edging to come out when the elevator suddenly made a dinging noise. It was more than enough to draw their attention and Cosima immediately felt Delphine's eyes on her at once, a shocked expression upon her face. Soon the doors were sliding shut fast, and at whirlwind speed she was back in the confines of the grey doors having to rewind the scene she had just bared witness to.

"What the fuck?" She whispered to herself. She had attempted to find the blonde all day with no luck and then this happens. Delphine's eye had looked so surprised, like the first time when Cosima had collected the DYAD award from her. Could it be, that her and Leekie were somehow together? Wasn't he much older than her, wasn't she cut out for someone much more appealing than him?

Just as quickly the doors opened up again, reaching her actual destination in a twist of fate. She walked out hurriedly, with more questions brewing in her mind that she had woken up with.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank YOUUUU, you guys are literally so sick. Everytime I read a review or get a fav or follow I just feel like I need to do more, hence why I've published this one so soon. I've been on a roll. I have a vague idea of how this story is gonna go, but it truly is you guys who have the influence of what happens ultimately so hit me up lads, I hope you enjoy! (Sorry about my typos and shit)**

"Hello?" The voice called at the end of the line.

"Wow. I'm surprised you actually picked up." Cosima replied, it was near impossible for her to hide the sarcasm.

"Sorry, I've been busy here these past days. Is everything alright?"

Cosima paused for a second, overwhelmed by Shay's apparent lack of enthusiasm.

"I think we need to talk soon. Do you know when you're going to get back?"

Equally Shay grew just as silent as Cosina had been. For a few moments she even considered that the line may well be dead.

"Why can't we speak now?" She finally answered.

"Because it's important and I think it's better to talk about in person. Not that I ever see you that much as it is anyway."

"Anything you want to say you can tell me here." The blonde replied, bluntly.

Cosima was sat in her living room, leaning forward towards the coffee table looking at the wine glass in front of her. It was seven o clock and she was meant to meet Scott and Gracie in half an hour, hence the low cut dress she wore, a deep red which complimented her figure so delicately. However, she had an inkling she would soon be late.

"Don't you feel like something is wrong, Shay? Desperately wrong? Is it meant to be like this?"

"Where is this coming from? What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying that…" She stopped herself, she knew it was a conversation for a time they were physically together, but she felt her patience being tested by Shay's insisting.

"Go on, tell me. Just come out with it already!"

"This. It just doesn't feel right anymore. We barely see each other, we barely speak. I have literally no clue what is going on in your life, just as you don't in mine. Even worse, it's like you don't even care."

"Don't even care?" Shay retorted. "Tell me, if I don't care so much, why did I ask you to marry me? Why would I do that?"

It was enough to bring silence to Cosima, who had no answer to the question regardless of how hard she tried to come up with one. So quiet it was that a voice became apparent on the other end of the speaker, the deep voice unmistakably of a man. Cosima paused, Shay wouldn't have picked up the phone unless she was in her dorm, but she had also told Cosima that dorms were separated by gender.

"Who is that?" She asked, not settling for anymore bullshit excuses.

"What?"

"That voice. Is it Paul? Because he sure as hell was sending you messages like he missed you before you left."

Cosima felt as though she could hear Shay's mind trying to search for an answer, her brain were like gears clogging the wrong way. The brunette's heart was thudding in her chest, it was a miracle she had stayed so calm until now in the first place.

"I don't know what to tell you, Cosima." Her voice was defeated and as much as it felt good to get an answer, the reality of the situation dawned upon her.

"So you're saying you've cheated?"

Instantly the line went dead. Cosima looked at the screen and saw 'call ended' flash up before going back to homescreen. Without thinking she threw her phone across the room and placed her palms to her eyes. It seemed so clear now, the texts, the secret calls, the blonde's lies grew blatant.

She looked over at the clock, it was 7.30pm already. As easy as it could have been to stay at home and think things over time and time again, think about how many lies had been told through her two year relationship and how stupid she had been for letting it last this long, she got her coat and headed out the door. She figured if she left now she wouldn't even be that late, well at least in her own rule book. The last thing she wanted to do was think. She wanted to have a couple of drinks with her friends and enjoy herself. Enjoy herself in a way she had with Delphine the other night, before she witnessed her endeavours with Leekie.

* * *

It was only a quick walk to the city and the sky was still reasonably bright. Walking through crowds of couples holding hands and walking slowly whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears, Cosima groaned, it was typical for this to happen now. She decided to take a quick detour into a park she knew well, it was on top of a hill and looking below were the faint figures of people who looked so miniscule, she almost pondered their three dimensional existence.

From her pocket she drew out a small tin which contained a joint she had pre-rolled a few hours prior, she had told herself she'd smoke it before bed but decided she much rather have it there, whilst it wasn't busy. It was all just a way of forgetting the world, an escapism from the realities she would later face, the wounds we're so new the skin had barely split, she would tend to it in a later time, once they had opened. For now she needed to get away. With each toke she felt the weight of her thoughts ease and replaced with the smoke of pot mixed with an imperial tobacco. She was drifting so slowly and so calmly into a state of peace and serenity. Her head rolled back, as though light as a feather, against the back of the bench and for a period of time just sat there, breathing deeply and indulging her mind to the satisfying thoughts of nothingness.

As time passed she realised the dimming of natural light, even a speckle of street lamps had turned themselves on. She took the opportunity to ask a man walking passed what the time was, to find that it was now 8.45pm, she had been there for about an hour, yet it had felt so timeless. Gathering her things she made her way to the original destination, the bar in which Scott and Gracie had invited her, that was if they were even still there. But either way she was in dire need of a drink.

"Cosima!" Scott called, catching sight of her as she entered the bar.

She waved back in reply and approached their table which was conveniently placed right next to the drink counter

"We didn't know whether you'd be coming." Gracie said, once Cosima was pulling the spare seat out from under the table. "Scott was getting worried about you."

Cosima giggled looking over at Scott and tugging at his cheek.

"You don't have to worry about little old me." She laughed.

It struck her how coupley Scott and Gracie had become, they sat so close, they complimented each other so well. She had never noticed before, how sort of perfect they seemed together.

"What has everyone been drinking?" Cosima asked finally, getting straight to the point.

"I haven't been drinking much, I've got work early tomorrow morning." She said with a genuine remorse.

"Go on, just a little one?" She pried, getting her purse from her bag.

"I really shouldn't." It was clear the ginger girl stuck to her morals, direct in her ways, something she knew Scott would benefit from and a trait she thought admirable herself.

"Alright. Just me and you Scotty."

Scott looked at Gracie, as though searching for an answer or a sort of permission. Cosima picked this up quickly and couldn't stop a smirk from spreading across her face.

"You go two go ahead, I'm just going to go to the ladies room." She said with a blush.

Cosima and Scott moved over to the stools near the bar waiting to be served.

"Two jagerbombs, please." She asked the bartender.

"Well that confirms it." Said Scott.

"Confirms what?"

"Something's definitely wrong. What is it Cos?"

Instead of answering straight away she shouted over to the bartender, "Actually make that 4!"

"That bad?" He asked.

"That bad...She told me today. Finally admitted she's cheating on me."

"What, Shay? No way?"

Cosima paid the man, picking up her first shot and knocking it back quickly, barely pulling a face of disgust. She felt Scott's hand over hers, he was hardly a physical person, so it was clear he wanted to comfort her.

"Scott, if I'm honest with you, which I always am, I just need tonight to forget about it."

"Are you sure?"

She looked him in the eye and felt her eyes well up with all the honesty she possessed.

"I'm so sure."

He smiled a tight and sympathetic smile at her, slowly withdrawing his hand away.

"Now have a shot with me dude." She said gesturing down to the drink in front of him.

He complied to her ask, but clearly didn't anticipate the taste. He stuck his tongue out in a way that proved too comical and Cosima could barely withhold her laughter.

"I don't think I should have this." He said, motioning to the second shot, which Cosima was drinking as they spoke.

"Come on, I believe in you. Once you get over the bleach taste it's fine." She replied wiping at the creases of her lips for any excess alcohol.

"No, no it's not that. Its just- well, I'm going back to Gracie's place tonight."

Cosima's eyes lit up already. It was obvious what his underlying reason for not drinking much was.

"Scott's getting lucky, Scott's getting lucky." Cosima chanted in a hushed tone, but it didn't fail to bring colour to his face.

"I might not...I mean I would love to, but like if it didn't happen then I wouldn't be, you know, like mad or anything because it's her body and I respect-"

"Scott, chill out. It's all gonna be alright. I'm happy for you buddy, seriously, for you and Gracie. You seem really happy together."

"Cosima, I think that-" He drew closer to her, "I think that I love her."

Before she had time to respond Gracie had come up from behind and wrapped her arms around his neck. Laughing and joking in a way that couples do.

"I think that I'm going to head off now." She said, putting her coat on. Cosima looked at the clock, it was 9.30.

Scott was looking at her apologetically as he also got up, reaching for his jacket.

"I'll drop you home, Cosima." He said, not so much a question, but just looking out for her.

"No, no Scott, honestly it's fine. I'm probably just gonna have this last shot, go to the bathroom and get a taxi home."

"Are you sure?" It was Gracie now, and she immediately felt loved by both of them.

"Most definitely." She assured them, confidently.

They both hugged her goodbye, Gracie first then Scott.

"Get home safely." He had whispered in her ear, slipping a note into her hand for a taxi.

Once they left Cosima thanked the universe that she at least had friends who cared about her and her well being both physically and mentally. She took the shot Scott had refused to drink and necked it herself before making her way in the same direction Gracie had come from towards the bathroom. She could still smell the pot on her hands from the joint she had smoke only an hour earlier.

As she went into the cubicle of the seemingly empty bathroom, she realised how far from sober she was. She listened to the music playing quietly, she recognised it, it was 'Just Like Heaven' by The Cure. A song she had always loved, especially as a teenager.

Leaving the cubicle she tried to compose herself before the journey home. Standing in front of the mirror she pushed down her baby hairs and began to wash her hands, her eyes had a tinge of red. Scott must have known something was wrong because of how blazed she looked.

Just then there was the sound of a toilet flushing and the sliding of a lock opening the door. Cosima looked up at the reflection of the cubicle which had been a mere few doors down from hers as it opened. She didnt see who it was at first, only the head full of glowing curls which radiated volume and perfectly framed her turning face which spotted Cosima straight away. There was no going back and there was no way they could possibly avoid each other.

"Bonsoir Cosima." She greeted in her accent, so silky it could have been made of velvet.

Cosima could have swore she let out a small laugh, as though her drunken and high mind was trying to play a trick on her. For how was there any way that the both of them could be there in that exact place, at the exact same time. It seemed impossible and yet it was happening.

"Hey, Delphine." She replied. The blonde had now walked over to the sink next to her and began to wash her hands. Cosima couldn't keep her eyes off her.

"So, the other night. I need to explain about what happened…" She trailed off, perhaps anticipating some sort of response from the blonde, but never receiving one.

"I should have told you. I have a girlfriend. I had a girlfriend. Or maybe I'm just jumping to conclusions because after all I don't really know anything about you. You could be straight or maybe you're bisexual but regardless I just felt like maybe you felt, I don't know some sort of spark, between us? But I didn't mean to lead you on, I just felt something so distinct and this is never something I do, like ever. I mean-"

"Cosima. Stop." Delphine cut her off harshly, it was a tone she was not used to hearing spoken from the French woman's lips. She could barely look Cosima in the eye. She took a curl and tucked it behind her ear, however it fell straight back onto her face.

Trying hard, wishing she had an extensive knowledge of psychology and body language, she wondered what was going on in the blonde's mind. Her eyes were glazed over, Cosima's thought for a second she could see hurt in those hazel eyes. Without thinking Cosima took the same curly strand that had fell back into Delphine's face and tucked it behind her ear herself. Her hair was soft and light, just how it appeared to be. Her hand lingered there, by her ear for a moment, their eyes connected. She could see Delphine's chest, through her low cut dress, as it rose and fell as though her heart rate was increasing and surpassing normality. She was so beautiful.

"But maybe, with what I saw yesterday night, I got the wrong end of the stick. God knows I don't want to be interfering with my bosses'-" The brunette paused, trying to think of the correct term. "Whatever you two are." She settled with.

Delphine sighed immediate and moved away from the dreadlocked woman, clearly agitated by the remark, but still maintaining eye contact. Whatever there was between them, whatever energy existed there, it was intense.

"Cosima you are right." She started. She looked down at her feet for a moment then back to the Cosima's eyes. "You don't know anything about me." Without a second thought the blonde left the bathroom all together, and in turn left Cosima alone to reflect on what had just happened. None of it had felt real, like a disconnect from reality, a kind of disassociation.

Looking at herself in the mirror she stretched and put her hands behind her head, taking herself in. She looked good for someone who had just found out their longest relationship was a shambles, for someone who felt like shit. Reaching into her hand bag she tried to find the note that Scott had given her to get a taxi home. Finding something she thought was it, she pulled out the receipt she had gotten yesterday from the blonde woman at the cafe yesterday.

Just as she was about to put the piece of paper back in her bag, she paused and thought for a moment. Irrational, impulsive thoughts they were that inhabited her mind. It was the start of the wound opening, she thought, as she felt an anger and remorse boiling within her. Grief would come and sorrow would soon follow but for now she felt angry.

Taking her phone from her bag she began to type the number out into her phone. She didn't know what she was doing, she didn't know what she wanted to achieve but for those seconds it was what she wanted. A physical interaction of no worth. A meaningless fuck to be brutally honest.

The line rang for little more than 5 seconds before the voice of the bubbly girl answered.

"Hey, Chloe. It's Cosima…from the cafe? Oh, you remember me? Cool. Was just wondering if you were busy tonight? You're not?... Okay..What do you say about coming to mine?...Cool, I'll text you my address. See you later."

She hung up.

"What am I doing." She whispered to herself.


	8. Chapter 8

The sound of sweet moans and ecstasy filled the sound of Cosima's bedroom, and her otherwise vacant apartment. It must have been well into the early hours of the morning, Cosima had lost track of time and frankly she didn't care either. They had decided to be straight to the point, jumping into bed together not long after Chloe had arrived, she had looked more appealing as she walked through the door and sat on the bed than she had in the cafe. Her dress was tight, her blonde hair...curled.

It was no surprise to Cosima, infact she had realised during their first session of fucking, that what she was really craving in those golden locks was actually Delphine. On many occasions she had to withdraw from screaming her name, the harsh consonance to 'D' upon her lips ripped through her as she came, over and over, like an insatiable machine. It was relatively easy in the moment to pretend, even to convince herself that it was the French woman pleasuring her, but the facade was destroyed in the most simplistic of ways. When her mouth opened and the accent was that of a typical American, when she said Cosima's name it no longer felt magic, it felt ordinary and plain.

As she lay there, in her lethargic post-orgasm state, her mind would drift back to the encounter she had with Delphine only hours earlier, it was still so fresh in her mind. She had on a bright red lipstick and wore hoop earrings. It was the small details about her she was drawn to. She had looked so incredible it took her breath away to think. The way Cosima couldn't resist creating some sort of physical element of intimacy, by pushing Delphine's hair behind her ear, reinforced her belief that there was some force compelling her to make these advances. It wasn't a lustful energy, nor platonic, it was something else entirely, something she had never experienced before and it scared her. Maybe it was that fear which explained why she was laying in her bed with a complete stranger, just like she always said, sex was like pot, just another form of escapism.

The morning came, inevitably, and it was to Cosima's horror she woke up in a bed next to someone else. Her sober mind was back, rid of the influence of the drugs and alcohol of the night before. At first, upon seeing the blonde hair, she assumed it was Shay, as though the previous day had been some sort of bad dream, as though she hadn't been cheated on, but no. She watched the blonde girl stir, what was her name again? Claire? She felt terrible for not knowing, but the circumstances were making her uncomfortable which was surely worse.

"Uh- Hey?" Cosima whispered, touching the woman's shoulder gently, as though to awake her subtly.

She watched her wake up, looking just as confused as she had initially been. But then a smile spread across her face. She began to pull Cosima in for another kiss.

"Wait, I um- I really need to get going to work. I'm really sorry, if I can call you a cab or something I can-"

"-Seriously?" The woman interrupted. Cosima could feel herself tensing from the awkwardness. There was a pause.

"Look, I'm in a really bad place right now, I shouldn't have let things escalate or if I led you on in anyway, I just-"

"Well congratulations, Cosima, you did! Inviting me to your house, calling me like you're genuinely interested. You used me!"

Before Cosima could respond Chloe had gotten up from bed, grabbing her clothes and putting them on clumsily, and had slammed the door shut.

"I'm sorry." She called after the girl, feebly, collapsing back into bed.

The words "you used me" played on in her head, over and over, like a broken record. She saw the upset in her eyes, a look like the one Delphine had given her last night in the bathroom, and her heart sank. It struck her at once, this was the first time she had slept with anyone apart from Shay in years. It hadn't been satisfying, or worth it upon retrospect. It made her feel worse. She couldn't stop thinking about Delphine either. "You don't know me." She had said. It was true and yet still it hurt. It confirmed what Cosima should have guessed, in that Delphine hadn't felt a spark like she had.

A knock at the door interrupted her thoughts. She froze at the noise, silently praying that Chloe hadn't come back. Cosima scanned the room, searching for something she may have forgotten to take, but not finding anything. Grabbing her robe, she placed it around herself messily and answered the door.

"Sarah, is everything okay?" She asked, her sister was looking at her, her expression unreadable.

She walked in past Cosima without a need for an invite.

"I just passed the girl from the cafe on the way up here and she was well pissed off you Cos, what have you been doing?"

Cosima put her hands to her face, groaning, and began to walk to the kitchen to make some coffee.

"In short, a stupid one night stand." Sarah stood, still staring, waiting for more. "Shay and I got into an argument yesterday, she's been cheating on me."

"What?!"

"Yeah. It was brutal, she didn't even deny it."

"Don't tell me it was with that Paul asshole."

"Yep. That's the one."

Sarah sat conflicted on the couch, wanting both to comfort her sister and to give Shay a piece of her mind.

Once Cosima came in with the hot drinks and sat next to her, she drew the dread head into an embrace. It was a simple act of physical contact, but to Cosima it signified so much more. She felt her mood changing like gears inside of her, and soon there were tears slowly streaming down her cheeks.

"You're so much better than that bitch, Cos. So, so, so much better. I've known it all along, fuck, we all have."

"I just- for so long I thought that I was incapable of being devoted to someone, the whole monogamous deal. And with Shay, at the start, it was fun. I thought, now, now is my chance to show I can be with someone without fucking up."

"Come here." Sarah said, pulling her sister into an even closer hug, if that had even been possible. "You're not a fuck up and you most definitely don't have to prove anything to anyone, yeah?"

She could only manage a nod, there was still a lump in her throat that could have erupted again at any given moment. There would still be more to sort out with Shay. This was their shared apartment, she had to remind herself, though it didn't feel like it. She might have to move or find a roommate, all she knew is that things were over. The relationship, the weird engagement, all of it.

"If there's anything I can do to help you, you'll tell me, won't you?"

"I will." Cosima promised.

"Get ready, I'll drive you to work."

* * *

Cosima walked into DYAD having just arrived from a detour with Sarah which had included more coffee, accompanied by ice cream. Not allowing for anymore elevator mishaps, she decided to take the stairs to get to the lab, slipping her passcard on the door. As she walked in she thought she heard a gasp, in the corner there stood Scott and Gracie in an embrace. Cosima couldn't help the laugh that came from her mouth, it was just so unlike Scott to be so intimate with someone and she was still getting used to the dynamic him and Gracie had. Upon seeing Cosima, they had jumped apart, as though they were two school children caught by an adult, but their love was perfectly requited. It's a wonder they had never gotten together earlier.

"S'up love birds?" She teased, spoiling their fun.

"Hey Cosima." Gracie greeted, shyly. "I should-I should probably leave now. I need to get back to the department." She rushed, leaving as abruptly as Cosima had came in.

As the door shut behind her, Cosima turned her attention back round to Scott.

"Well, well, well, Scott. Look at you, Mr Ladies'-Man.' She said with a wink.

He was smiling uncontrollably and was clearly too happy to be embarrassed. His joy was somewhat contagious, regardless of how shitty she had been feeling, Cosima couldn't help but smile back at her friend with authenticity.

"Cosima, last night, after the bar. It was amazing! Why didn't you tell me how amazing it was?"

She immediately knew he was referencing that he had gotten laid, he spoke with the enthusiasm of someone who had just discovered orgasms. Cosima had to prevent her mind from imagining them together like that, but at the same time it was also kinda impossible to think of him in that situation.

"I'm just glad you got to figure it out yourself." She laughed off, walking over to her desk.

"Oh! And Cosima, Leekie spoke to me earlier, he said to send you to his office as soon as you came in. I almost forgot."

"Did he say why?"

"Nope, just said you need to see him."

There was no reason that he would need to talk to her that she could think of, it made her question herself for a moment. Then she remembered how she had seen him and Delphine together the other night. She froze suddenly. It must be that. She hadn't been in work since that incident and maybe he would want to keep her quiet, keep the affair from spreading. She felt sick, just at the mere thought of rewinding the image in her head, but having to speak about it in an awkward but professional formal manner? Fuck, why, why, why.

She made her way to the Leekie's office, though intentionally this time, taking the same elevator having been assured that it had been fixed since. As the doors opened it was almost as though she expected to have deja vu, to see him with her there again. To see him pressing so close into boundaries she desperately wanted to discover herself. Boundaries that for a few seconds the other night, she thought she would have discovered. It was painful to recall, but with the added knowledge of Shay it was amplified.

The white corridors felt daunting to pass through, it felt like a sort of hospital, but this was where all the science elites were, only the best made it. Reaching his office she knocked on his door confidently and, as though expecting her right then, Leekie opened the door nearly straight away.

"Cosima!" He exclaimed, as though they had been old friends from many, many years. "Come in please, do sit down." She did as he asked, taking off her jacket as she did so, dropping herself into the leather seat opposite his desk.

"Would you like anything to drink? Tea or water?" His generosity was not a massive step out from his typical characteristics, but it felt obvious to Cosima that he was trying to compensate or persuade her into something already. She was certain now. Any minute he would open his mouth and the name, 'Delphine' or the word 'the other night' would come out, it was only a matter of time. She felt her body tense uncomfortably.

"No thank you." She managed out, coherently.

Leekie proceeded to sit down at his desk, pouring himself a glass of water. There was an air of authority about him, or course she was his boss so he had that over her, but it felt like his forthcoming announcement was one she wasn't allowed to refuse.

"How's life after winning the DYAD award? Has it been treating you well?"

"It's been fine, nothing much has changed actually." She replied, growing frustrated at his seemingly small talk.

"Well," He started, reaching into a draw of his desk and pulling out a magazine. "It seems you're a big hit." He gestured towards it.

It was a magazine she had been quickly interviewed for on the day, along with pictures of her on the stage. One of the pictures was of her accepting the award from Delphine, they were so close, it was a miracle that her attraction to the blonde standing next to her wasn't overtly evident. In fact there was an entire spread dedicated to her and the importance of her work. She was so shocked she could barely concentrate on the individual words, she could only skim read but she got the general idea of it.

"It came out today and already I've received so many calls from people wanting to get in contact with you for interviews. You're quite a personality, aren't you Niehaus?"

It was the kind of rhetoric that Cosima would usually have had a witty reply to but truly she was blown away from what he had told her. People were asking to interview her? Had been calling the DYAD directly to get her? It seemed so much to take in.

"Wow, I mean I've always been a catch." She managed to joke. Leekie laughed along, but Cosima was scrutinising his every action, his friendliness seemed empty until he revealed his actual motive.

"That's right, you are. In fact, I've asked you here today for ask you something, a proposal if you will. I've been toying with the idea for months, but now seems the right time."

She felt herself perk up, suddenly interested by his words and less tense. Seeing this, Leekie continued to speak.

"A new project has come to my attention. One that I wish to carry out, quite immediately. I've only asked the best scientists of the many departments in the DYAD, and all team partners work with their own specific objectives. It concerns cloning, a field you are clearly specialised within. I want you offer you a role within the project, if you were interested."

The previous worries she had about how the conversation would go had been gradually eased out of her and now she was left with nothing but curiosity. A hunger for more information regarding the project. She began to dart her questions and queries at him, as though expecting him to falter, but kept up with her quick pace.

"Why do you want to do this?" She asked, searching his eyes for any doubt or dishonesty.

"Because I believe that self-directed evolution is a human right. This research would help us make that a reality."

Cosima took a moment to think, something she should have done with Shay right from the start. It was a huge opportunity and she would have an upper-hand from having previously researching the topic. It also meant that she would have less free time, so that she could focus on something other than the mess in her personal life. It all made sense, it was a perfect chance.

"I would love to." She told him, finally. Leekie reached his hand across the table in order to shake hers.

"Welcome aboard Cosima." He smiled. There was a knock at the door, another one of his meetings Cosima thought. She began to take her jacket, figuring their business here was over for the day.

"Ahhh, perfect timing!" He said, "Come in!"

"I'm so sorry to be late I-"

At the same time Cosima turned around and spotted Delphine, she had seen her and both women paused for a moment. She felt like she was interrupting one of her and Leekie's weird little 'meetings' for a second, she decided to make her leave.

"Wait Cosima, sit down. You and Delphine have met briefly before am I right?" He asked. _Yeah something like that,_ she thought _._

"Well Dr Cormier is also involved in this project. I've partnered you two together, evolutionary development and immunology compliment each other perfect and I think you could learn a lot together."

Cosima had to move her hand to her face to check that her jaw had not fallen on the floor like she felt it had. She looked over at Delphine who must have been feeling a similar way, but was acting much more professional about the ordeal.

"Now this project is going to be intense. I'm not going to lie to you, ladies. It's going to required your time and work together and it will be demanding. Are you sure you're ready to commit yourselves?"

"Yes." Delphine answered, without hesitation. Cosima didn't know how to interpret her fast reply. Did it mean she didn't mind working with her? Or was she simply trying to conform to something Leekie had put her up to? Or was she genuinely interested in the project? There was much to speculate.

Both pairs of eyes were on Cosima now, she could feel Delphine's chestnut orbs upon her and Leekie's anticipation. She cleared her throat.

"Yes, I'm sure." She replied.


	9. Chapter 9

The following day Cosima decided to take a slow stroll to work for once, leaving early in order to organise her thoughts of the previous evening. She was being bombarded by emotions, each pulling her in different directions in an attempt to get their point through; but these attempts merely left her confused. She was ecstatic on one end of the spectrum, in regard to the attention she had drawn from her research and hard work, she had never felt prouder or more excited to be in the field she was than now. However on the other end was this looming question mark, fuelling her with a terminal curiosity without a means to discover. How was the project going to work out? What did Delphine think about it? Were they okay? Was she able to work alongside the blonde with the pulsating and all encompassing urge to declare her attraction and proclaim her beauty? Of course she would, she would have to. They were the kind of long winded thoughts she would have if she was high, but they nagged and gnawed away at her repeatedly.

As she walked into the building she was met with the same smiles and greetings as she had been of late, but she was beginning to view them in a new light. As though with a flick of a switch she was aware that these were not the acts of kindness she was previously used to she didn't know the names of most of those who waved their 'good mornings!' so friendly so, as though they had been peers, even friends, for years. Small things like this, she had been oblivious to their change.

She had been directed to go straight to Leekie's office upon arrival at 11am, it was slightly earlier than that as she made her way up to the floor, and once there, down the corridor. She knocked before entering, however she soon became aware that he was not there yet. However, there in all her glory sat Delphine, a stern expression on her face, as though a politician about to negotiate a treaty with another disliked nation. She barely acknowledge Cosima, until the brunette decided to make herself heard. What was the point? She thought, if they weren't going to be on friendly terms? The project would inevitably fail and it would be embarrassing for both of them.

"Good morning." She greeted, in a friendly but effortless tone.

The blonde looked up from her hands, her posture was straight, her hair curly as always. She seemed to find the gesture unexpected.

"Bonjour, Cosima." She replied, looking over to the brunette briefly, who was taking off her jacket and sitting in the chair beside her.

"So this project, did you know about it for long?" Maybe she was pushing the conversation more than it needed to go by now, but she was desperate for any tension between herself and Delphine to ease.

"Non. I have only heard of it these past days, it's a great opportunity."

That figures, Leekie failed to ask me until last minute, typical she thought, bitterly. She nodded in response to this. She sensed Delphine panic at the ending of conversation.

"Aldous said he would be here soon, I think he has a meeting." The Frenchwoman interjected, looking at her watch.

Cosima raised her eyebrow at this. "Aldous?" She reiterated. If that slight drift from formality wasn't evident in the intimacy she witnessed between both Delphine and her boss in the elevator incident , it was sure there now. Never had she referred to her boss by his first name

"Dr Leekie, I mean." Delphine corrected herself, quickly. She said confidently, though the blush betrayed her.

Before Cosima had time to comment on it Leekie himself finally arrived, he was carrying a multitude of folders and binders, he placed them neatly on the desk.

"Hello ladies." He smiled, though lingering his sight on Delphine for noticeable longer. Cosima had to pretend she hadn't witnessed this notion, else she feared she would create unnecessary friction before the project was even running.

They spent the next hour going over the more in depth, intricate details of the project. How it was going to run, when they were expected to be together working, which turned out to be a lot, how they would divide the labour, in terms of documenting and hypothesising as they progressed. It seemed fair to Cosima, she had been in projects before, though it must be said not one of this degree, and everything seemed to be in order. Leekie stood up to shake their hands, a clear indication it was time to take their leave. Both women got up from their seats and were about to go.

"Actually, on second thoughts Delphine, could we speak for a moment?" Leekie asked, abruptly.

Delphine paused for a minute, her back to him. Cosima caught her eye for a split second, she might not have seen it if she had blinked but Delphine was urging her, with her eyes, it was almost like she was pleading for Cosima to get her away, to come up with an excuse so she wouldn't have to speak to him. This caught Cosima off guard, she wasn't aware Delphine was in a dynamic with Leekie where she would want to leave the situation. Her brain was trying to process the information as Delphine was turning back around, gaining a fake smile as she did.

"Um- actually, sir." Cosima said, finally. This got everyone's attention, Delphine looked at her with hopeful eyes. "I was actually hoping Dr Cormier and I could have some time to discuss together now, just because we're gonna be doing this project together and everything. You know?" She cleared her throat awkwardly, not knowing how her bullshit excuse had sounded to others.

There was a silence of deliberation and perhaps surprise, rarely did Leekie get compromised but here she was going against his wishes and all for what? But when she looked back at the blonde she knew what.

"I guess that's only sensible, Cosima. Maybe another time Dr Cormier." He forced a smile but Cosima could see she had pissed him off.

The two women left the room, Cosima having no idea what just happened. They both walked to the end of the hall and into the elevator. The Immunology and Evolutionary Development departments were on floors close to each other so it was only right they went together. As the doors shut, Cosima began to question.

"Well...what was that about?" She laughed, showing her canines.

Delphine tried her hardest to ignore the comment but Cosima's laugh was somewhat infectious and a smile reached her lips. She covered her face as if embarrassed.

"That man, he just won't leave me alone!"

"Leekie took a shine to you alright." She replied, nudging at the blonde in her side.

"A bit too much. He's nice enough, but we are on completely different wave lengths."

Cosima's heart grew larger at her words. She knew what this meant, it meant that what she had seen were Leekie's unwanted and unreciprocated advancements. Delphine had no interest in their boss and it filled her with a happiness she was familiar with but hadn't felt in a long time.

"No crazy science on the cards for you two, then?" Cosima asked, trying to tease out further confirmation from the Frenchwoman.

"Non! Non, definitely not!" She laughed, as though it was incredulous to even suggest such a thing.

"Us on the other hand…" Cosima said, her tongue poking out between her teeth. But the comment didn't get the response she was hoping for. She could see, as though the blonde was tensing up, she stopped the eye contact between them, a pink blush making its way across her cheeks.

"I mean, for this project right? Crazy science on this project." She explained.

Suddenly Delphine felt silly for her misinterpretation. "Oui, of course. We shall begin tonight?"

"Yeah. I'll come to your lab and we can crack on."

The blonde woman laughed at the American's lexicon, and the doors of the elevator slid open to the immunology department.

"Ciao, Cosima."

"Ciao."

She watched the beauty walk down the hall until the doors disallowed her the privilege.

* * *

"You're leaving? But Cosima we've got so much work here together we need to do already?"

Breaking the news to Scott was never going to be easy, but now it was confirmed there was no use in keeping him in the dark.

"Come on Scottie, it's not forever. We will see each other and in a few weeks, or months or whatever everything will be back to normal."

Scott was frowning at her, pouting even, it took restraint not to laugh at his clear distress, but the project wasn't going to distract her from their work. Neither would Scott be alone, he had Gracie as well now.

"I guess." He concluded in the end. "So what's this project all about anyway?"

"Cloning, so I have the upper hand with all my research."

"Cloning?" He repeated, skeptically. "Aren't their huge ethical and legal problems with that?"

"Whoa, whoa, hold up! We're not gonna be going around cloning things now. Me and Delphine just need to find out further-"

"-You and Delphine?"

"Yeah, Leekie paired us together."

"Oh, wow."

"What?" She asked, raising her brow at him and his judgements.

"Nothing, it's just with everything that's happened recently-"

"Scott." She cut him off quickly, already knowing where the conversation was going to lead. "There's nothing to worry about. I appreciate you're my friend and you care, but Delphine isn't interest and it's too soon for any of those thoughts about anyone yet. I still need to sort this shit out with Shay."

"Have you spoke to her since?"

"Nope, I don't plan on it either. If she wants her stuff back she can come get it."

After the initial shock and upset of finding out Shay had cheated, she had grown to develop a more hard-line attitude to the affairs surrounding her, just how she used to. With the help of her family and friends she was feeling more and more like herself, time was the healer of all things she told herself.

"Well I say good on you, you're holding up well, Cosima." He said, putting his hand on her shoulder.

"Oh God, don't get all soppy on me now!"

* * *

By the time it was 7pm, it was time to meet Delphine in the immunology labs. She had been looking forward to this point of the day since she had known this morning. Even when time seemed to be dragging, with 10 minutes feeling like an hour, it was as though she had a consistent charge of happiness which fuelled her throughout. She couldn't wait to be next to her again, to see her, to hear her voice, that lovely accent, to smell her perfume, to hear her laugh. She was in anticipation of all of it. She and Scott made their way down the corridor, Scott was going to meet Gracie so they could go off and be all cute as couples do in their honeymoon stage, but he was also acting as a guide, for Cosima was not too familiar with the department.

When Gracie spotted him she ran over, like they were being reunited after a long separation, and they began hugging and kissing like school kids. Cosima stood there, claiming the title of third wheel, not knowing what on earth she should do in this situation. She felt a pressure on her lower back, a hand and it was then accompanied by a whisper in her ear.

"I think now it is my time to help you out of an uncomfortable situation." And from the first syllable it was clear it could be no one else but Delphine. And from the way her body melted at her words it was clear it could be no one else but Delphine. She allowed herself to be maneuvered from the situation under the guidance of the linger palm still on her back and into a small room. There were already a desk set up filled with papers that Leekie had given them to make preparations for the experiment.

"I guess we're equal now." Cosima joked.

"Oui, there for each other in those times of need." Delphine replied, she ran her hands through her curls.

They still stood, as though each waiting for the other to say something, there was always this feeling Cosima thought, always this overwhelming feeling of something unsaid. She questioned whether the tension she could feel in the room was because there genuinely was, or if she just wanted there to be and so she was sort of imagining it. It was hard to be sure.

"Come." Delphine gestured, pointing to the seat opposite her, as she now sat. "Let's start with this...crazy science."

For the next few hours they put their minds together in a way they hadn't been able to do before. Cosima had felt herself compelled to the woman physically ever since she saw her, then emotionally when they had spoken afterwards, but now she found herself intellectually compelled and stimulated by the Frenchwoman. At times they couldn't help but stray from their original topic but to other irrelevant but interesting ones where they found common ground.

"I went to France once, Paris. But it feels like it doesn't count because it was on a school trip." Cosima added, they had been discussing languages, particularly French.

"You didn't say before," Delphine started, Cosima couldn't help but acknowledge the slightly upset gleam in the blonde's eyes momentarily. "How did you find it?"

"Well I was young, maybe like 14? 15? We went on an art trip, you know, see Mona Lisa all that sort of stuff. But I would love to go properly."

Delphine opened her mouth to speak, but something told her that what she was about to say wasn't appropriate, instead she looked down at her hands. "You should. It is a beautiful city." Was all she said after.

"We're you born in Paris?" Cosima asked, she found herself genuinely wanting to know more about the woman, not superficially or out of politeness, she wanted to know just everything about her.

"Non. I was born in Lille, but my parents moved us to Paris when I was young. I grew up there."

"And when did you come to America?"

"I've been here for two years now. I moved after I finished my PhD in immunology and went to work for an institute in San Fransisco for a bit and then-"

"No way!" Cosima interrupted, "I'm totally from San Fran!"

They both laughed together at the irony of it, it was weird for Cosima to think that when she made journeys home to see her family, that she had been in the same place that Delphine had been. It was hard to even believe.

"You know, Cosima, I am not surprised by this. You have the same attitude and mannerisms as the people I used to know there."

"Oh, yeah? Like what?" The brunette moved closer towards her, as if the question was a challenge, a clear flirtation.

"There's many things, I wouldn't know where to begin." She replied, but she wasn't backing down against Cosima's playfulness.

"Go on, there must be something?"

"Well first of all, you speak with your hands."

Cosima couldn't help but laugh, she knew all too well it was true, anyone who had even spoken to her regarding a topic she was passionate about knew it too.

"You have a very laid back attitude, it's quite calming to be around you actually."

"I do?" She gave her biggest smile, Delphine just looked at her, suddenly her face had become rather intense.

Disregarding Cosima's question she let spontaneity get the better of her. "Et tu es belle." She said, looking her point blank in the eyes, her voice never quivering once.

Cosima was taken aback by the compliment, except it didn't feel like one, not like the typical compliment exchanged between coworkers, it felt like so much more. Her heart was swelling in her chest. It was the kind of French she could understand.

"Well you don't have to be born in San Fran to be gorgeous." She stretched her arms behind her head, "you're living proof of that aren't you." If it wasn't flirting before, I've made it into that now Cosima thought to herself.

Delphine smiled, then she looked back down. Cosima wish she could tell what the blonde was thinking, it was like when they had encountered each other in the bathroom all over again.

"You shouldn't be calling other women gorgeous, when you have a girlfriend should you Miss Niehaus."

"Well you'll be glad to know I don't anymore." Cosima replied, without missing a beat.

Delphine was confused by Cosima's words, it was clear from her expression, she seemed shocked.

"It just wasn't working out." Cosima explained, "And it didn't help that I recently found out she was cheating on me."

"Cosima, I'm so sorry."

"No, no it's fine. How were you to know?" If it had been anyone else she would have been annoyed by the assumption, but she couldn't bare to see Delphine thinking that she had caused her any upset.

"Anyways," the brunette continued, "I'm the one who should be sorry. That evening at the DYAD awards, I should have told you that I was seeing someone. It was just- I just felt like-"

She couldn't think of the words she was desperate for, it seemed like when she found one it didn't do the job of epitomising the attraction that she had felt for the blonde infront of her, not just that evening but right that second. As much as she hated to she had to dismiss her sentence for lack of lexis.

"-I don't know. It doesn't matter though." It completely matters.

"Well, not that it helps, but I think she was a fool to let you go." Delphine admitted, her voice was so soft to her ears.

They sat frozen, only inches from one another, exploring each other's face until they spotted each other's lips. There was nothing Cosima wanted more in that moment, more in her life to kiss Delphine then and there. She moved further forward in her seat, she could feel the blonde coming closer and all she could hear was her heart in her throat. She shut her eyes.

Buzzzzzzz.

The abrupt sound of the door being opened by a passcard made the two of them jump apart. Cosima was in disbelief that such a perfect moment could be ruined just like that. If it's Scott I swear I'll never forgive him she thought, but instead she turned around to see Dr Leekie, of course.

"Good evening, ladies. I've just come to see how you have gotten on today."

Cosima looked at her watch, it was 10pm. She couldn't believe how fast the time had slipped from them.

"Um- yeah, we're still developing new ideas and stuff at the moment really." She looked over at Delphine who was blushing and avoiding eye contact with him at all costs. Cosima wondered if she had even heard what she said.

"That's fine, we don't expect you to have any revelations in these early stages." He chuckled. "Cosima, you're free to go, Dr Cormier I was wondering if we could quickly have that chat."

Cosima looked back to Delphine, now more than ever she didn't want to leave her alone with him. But Delphine gave her no signals to intervene.

"I will see you tomorrow, Cosima." She said, after clearing her throat.

"Yeah for sure."

Hesitantly she took her stuff and put it in her bag before walking out the department and making her way home. The streets were empty and the night was blue, Delphine occupied her mind the entire way.


	10. Chapter 10

Today marked a month since Cosima had spoken to Shay. The phone call was the last she had heard from her, no letter, not even a text. In a way Cosima was relieved by this, she didn't want to see that blonde ever again as far as she was concerned, but she was surprised. It was crazy how things could go from one extreme to another in the space of two years. But with each day, as the weeks come and went Cosima found herself accepting her fate more and more. She was actually happy. It no longer became weird to think that she would come home to an empty apartment every day, or that she had no one to please or try and prove something to.

Another thing Cosima had been doing was spending more time with her family, Sarah, Kira, Felix and Siobhan were only a short while away. She was grateful for the amazing figures she had in her life, and to whom she could trust with anything. But as well as them she had her work, which had also been demanding but interesting to say the least. The past month she and Delphine had made fast progress, when they put their minds together it was impressive to say the least. Leekie had complimented them and their team work ethic and he seemed genuinely impressed. But the more he stayed away the happier both Cosima and Delphine were.

So everyday Cosima had that preoccupation. She could be crossing a road, or eating lunch or sitting with her family or dreaming, but her mind would always hold the thought of Delphine. She couldn't help it. Just knowing that she would see the Frenchwoman the next day, to see her smile, hear her laugh, to smell that perfume she always wore. It made her get up early in the mornings and it motivated her throughout the day. If she could she would spend every minute of her day with her. They always had something to talk about something to joke over or memories to relive.

Ever since they had almost kissed in the lab that time a month earlier, Cosima cursed Leekie for spoiling such a perfect opportunity. Nothing of the likes similar to it had happened since. It was confusing, because it made her doubt herself, sometimes she wondered if she had made the image of the two of them inching closer and closer together up. She hoped for her and her heart's sake that she hadn't. She wanted me than anything to touch her soft skin, to kiss those lips, but she had to have a level of restraint, they were coworkers after all.

That morning when Cosima woke up she looked over at the clock. It was the 8th of March. The date struck her for a moment. She laid there desperately searching for the reason why it was so significant and then it hit her. Today was Sarah's birthday. She took her phone from the side and slid her glasses on to text her sister and wish her a good day and to that she would be over later. It was a good job Cosima didn't have work until the evening time. She needed to go into the city and try find a present for Sarah,so she could cover up the fact she had almost forgot.

It didn't take long to get there, she had decided to walk, her earphones in ignoring the world around her. She had no idea what to buy, she had always been awkward to buy for, they had completely different interests. Everyone just bought Cosima science related books for her birthdays. It took her a couple hours to find things, but she came back, bags in hand with bits of make up and some clothes she thought she might like. It was the best she could come up with and she knew Sarah was an appreciative person, she was a Pisces after all.

After having wrapped the gifts she made her way up to place Siobhan was staying with everyone. The Irish woman opened the door skeptically at first, but once she saw the cheeky grin of Cosima she pulled her in with a laugh.

"How are you chicken, I've almost missed you." She said, pulling her in for a hug.

"Chicken? I feel like a kid again!" Cosima joked. "I've been good, working loads though."

"That's what I like to hear. You're a hard worker you are, much different to my other two."

It was then that Cosima could hear Felix and Sarah coming towards her groaning their disapproval at Siobhan and laughing.

"Happy Birthday!" Cosima said at the sight of her sister. She handed her the bag of presents.

"Cos, you really shouldn't have." She said, looking in the bag and seeing the array of wrapped gifts.

"Well I did!"

They all went into the living room, it was quite grand compared to the urban style house they had been living in back in England. There on the wall were child drawings which said "happy birthday mummy" and a banner to accompany them. As if on cue Kira in from upstairs and flew straight into Cosima's lap cuddling her tightly.

"Cosimaaaaa!" She squealed happily.

"Monkeyyyyy!" Cosima replied, imitating her tone and pitch.

They spent the afternoon talking, eating party food and playing games, mostly to please Kira. After a long game of hide and seek Cosima came to sit with Sarah and talk with her properly.

"How are you birthday girl?" She asked, sweetly.

"I'm good. I'm just happy I can have my family around me to celebrate this year."

"I think I speak for all of us when I say we're all glad to be here."

Kira could be heard giggling hysterically with Felix tickling her at the other side of the room. The two sisters watched them for a minute, each with matching smiles upon their faces.

"What are you planning to do tonight?" The brunette asked, she had forgotten to find out sooner.

"Nothing really. Probably just watch a film."

Cosima exaggerated the shock on her face. "My sister? Sarah Manning? Not going out on her birthday?"

"Yeah, you got it." Sarah laughed, taking a swig of her beer.

"And why is that?"

"Well I just figured that S has had Kira a lot recently. It's not that she minds but I think she just deserves a rest from babysitting, you know?"

Cosima thought for a second. It wasn't fair that she can't go out on her own birthday. "Why don't you let Kira come over mine tonight? She can sleep over and you can just collect her before I have work tomorrow?"

Sarah seemed to think over the proposal, she looked at her drink then back at her sister. "You serious?" Her face was expressionless.

"Well like yeah. Why not? You know you can trust me with her."

"No, no. I trust you, of course, it's not that. I just know you've got a lot on your plate and-"

Cosima cut her off mid sentence, "-And it's your birthday! I want you to go out and me and Kira will have a great time."

"You're definitely sure about this?"

"Absolutely. Let me ask her." Cosima swivelled around in her seat and called over to Kira.

"Hey Monkey! Monkey!"

"Yeah?" She called back, in the middle of play fighting with Felix.

"How do you say we have a sleepover tonight at my place?"

She watched the little girl's face light up.

* * *

It wasn't until later that she realised that she would have to tell Delphine she wasn't able to meet her at the lab that evening. They had arranged to meet at 8 but Sarah was due to bring Kira over at around 8.30pm. It wasn't that it would ruin the project, it was more so a personal upset that she wouldn't get to spend the special allotted time with the blonde, but her family were priority. She wanted to help Sarah out and she loved being with Kira, she was no trouble at all.

As she entered DYAD she got the elevator to her and Scott's lab. As she walked down the corridor, there was Delphine walking towards her. She had straightened her hair and she was wearing a power suit. Cosima could feel herself melting, the blonde was yet to even notice her, but she almost couldn't think coherently. She looked incredible, she looked fucking hot.

"Hey, looking for someone?" Cosima said with a wink, Delphine looked up and set eyes on her, they immediately sparked up.

"Yes, I am. She is small, brunette and extremely cheeky." Delphine flirted back.

She's getting the hang of this, Cosima thought.

"The hair, I like it a lot." The compliment elicited a blush from the blonde.

"Thank you. I rarely do it, but I just wanted, you know, a change."

"Yeah, totally."

They looked lovingly at each other for a couple of seconds. If anyone had been around and saw them both they would have thought what a pair of fools. They were all smiles and compliments.

"So, uh, how come you're after me? Apart from the fact that I'm great?" She added the latter part for good measure.

"Well," the Frenchwoman began, "we have got some important issues to discuss regarding the project and the samples we looked through the other day. Do you care to run over them quickly?" Her tone had turned back to professional mode, but combined with the suit and hair, Cosima didn't mind. She got a kick out of it.

"Yeah for sure, let's go to the lab."

They walked to the door before opening it with the I.D card, but not two seconds later did Cosima wish she hadn't. There, in plain sight were Scott and Gracie in the chill zone, Scott with his trousers down to his ankles and Gracie laying on the sofa, most of their clothes discarded around the room.

"What the?" The words escaped Cosima's mouth, drawing the two love bird's attention and immediately they began to cover up.

Cosima saved them the embarrassment, dragging Delphine out of the doorway and back into the corridor and shutting the down behind them. They stared at each other in shock for a second, then slowly and all together they broke apart with laughter. The type of laughter that couldn't be stopped. Tears were running down the blonde's cheeks where she couldn't stop herself.

"I thought you said she wouldn't be here until later?" They heard Gracie shout at Scott.

"I didn't think she would be!"

This made the pair laugh even more, toppled over and gasping for air.

"Who would have thought…" Cosima began, trying to control her laughter but failing, "that Scott would be banging in the chill zone this evening."

They managed to get themselves into the elevator and always from the scene.

"Well that was very unexpected, no?"

"It was. The look on Scott's face!"

Looking at the documents she still held in her hand, Delphine remembered, "we still haven't gone through these. But we can just leave it until tonight?"

Tonight? Of course! Tonight! Cosima had completely forgot to mention.

"Oh yeah, Delphine, I forgot to mention that I've got to look after my little niece tonight. I won't be able to meet you this evening."

It was impossible to ignore the saddened look upon her face. It pulled at her heart strings. Here was this power house clad in a suit and gorgeous hair emitting the sexiest of vibes and yet Cosima found her pout infinitely cute. She felt immediately apologetic.

"I'm sorry, it's just it's my sister's birthday and I want to help her out."

"Non, non. Don't be sorry, we can do it another time?"

Cosima nodded feebly, she wanted to much to spend the evening with the blonde, even if it was just discussing their work and updating Leekie together, she wanted to stay within her presence.

"Well, like maybe…" She paused. It was hard to imagine what she was going to say next as a good idea. "If you like you could come over? Kira isn't a bad kid, she's sweet. And we can talk over these important things?"

A quiet inhabited the elevator, which may have been awkward if Cosima's mind wasn't pumping at the possibilities of Delphine's reaction. She watched her think it over, obviously remembering what had happened the first and only time she had come over before and what a disaster that ended up to be.

"Won't you need to look after your niece? Work might not be the best thing?" Delphine asked, her face still unreadable.

"She's quite happy to do her own thing, as long as I read her a bedtime story." She laughed.

Delphine bit her lip. "Oui, okay. What time shall I come over?"

A full teeth smile erupted onto Cosima's mouth, she could barely contain her excitement.

"Yes! I mean like, um- sometime after 8.30 tonight?"

The elevator door sprung open, and Delphine walked out, her eyes on Cosima as she did so.

"I'll be there." She said in a voice so quiet it could have been a secret.


	11. Chapter 11

The night sky was a clear one that evening, full of endless possibilities. Cosima had spent the hour she had before the arrivals to tidy the apartment and make it presentable both for Kira and Delphine. She had earlier taken Shay's possession, the photos they had together, including the one that Delphine had seen before leaving, and put them in them in storage. Already, it felt like a brand new place, like a breath of fresh air and optimism. Cosima felt strange admitting it to herself, but it was almost as though that part of her life had never happened. Her life was so fast paced now, she barely had time to think about it. Of course she had grieved and she had pined, more so for the loss investment of time and energy, but now she felt free. It was as though she was a puppet cut from its strings, she was free now from the hands of the puppeteer and could be the pioneer of her own destiny.

She sat on the kitchen table top, coffee in hand, awaiting a knock or a buzzer or any sign of Sarah. Looking into the living room, she couldn't remember the last time it had been this clean.

It was quarter to nine when she finally heard it. The firm knock, which could not be mistaken as her sisters' followed by the giggle of a young girl she instantly recognised as her niece. She opened the door to invite them in. Kira stood clad in a knitted beanie and matching mittens, accompanied by a red coat, holding Sarah's hand with a huge grin on her face. For a second, Cosima thought it was like seeing herself in child form. She hugged the younger girl, bringing her up into her arms, underestimating how heavy she had gotten, sometimes it was easy to forget she wasn't a baby anymore.

"Monkey!" Cosima exclaimed, provoking even more laughter from the girl.

She looked up at Sarah who was clearly ready for the night already, her make up was smokey and Cosima realised it must have been what she had gotten her only hours before.

"You look amazing!" She complimented.

"All thanks to you." Sarah replied, laughing

"Do you want a drink or anything before you leave?"

"I better not, I said I would meet Fee at nine, I'll be late as it is. But listen, Cos, are you sure this is alright?"

"Yeah of course. I wouldn't have offered if not."

"Okay, but any trouble and you will call me, yeah?" She said, looking at Cosima and bringing Kira in for a goodbye hug. It was hard for her to trust anyone much apart from Ms S with her child, so Cosima felt gratified to know her sister trusted her and assured her the young girl was in safe hands.

"I owe you for this, Cos. I will see you both in the morning." She said making her way back out the door.

"Have a great time mommy!" Kira shouted.

"Enjoy yourself!" Cosima echoed.

Then the door was closed, leaving them both to make an adventure of their time. Cosima listed an options of activities they could do together, many that Kira giggled about.

"Auntie Cosima, ordering take out isn't an activity!"

"When did you get so grown up?"

In the end they settled on drawing, Kira had brought along her crayons and felt tips in her overnight bag and they lay sprawled on the floor colouring in and drawing their own pictures.

"You don't have many pictures in your house." Kira said, offhandedly, her tongue poking out of her mouth slightly in concentration. "Ms S has loads of pictures in her house, she always puts the pictures I draw on the wall. She says I am getting better and better at keeping in the lines."

"Well," Cosima started, "why don't you draw some for me and I can put them up?"

"You mean it?" She little girl replied, glancing up from her current drawing momentarily.

"You said yourself, I don't have many pictures monkey. I can get some frames and hang them up."

The girls eyes brightened up at the idea, you could practically hear her brain ticking, imagining the prospect.

Just then there was the second knock at the door. This time more gentle, timid even, but just enough to be heard. Kira looked at Cosima, her face full of curiosity.

"Oh, Kira, that's just my...uh, my friend. I hope you don't mind, if we talk about some work stuff for a bit?" Cosima said, stumbling up from the floor and brushing her skirt off.

"No, but do I still get my bedtime story?"

"Monkey, nothing could stop me from giving you that bedtime story!"

She had to try her hardest not to lunge for the door, desperate to see Delphine's face once more and she wasn't disappointed. The blonde stood there, still in the power suit she had been wearing earlier, she must have come straight from work.

"Bonjour Cosima." She greeted, she smiled nervously before leaning forward.

Cosima's feet were glued to the spot, she watched the blonde coming closer, for a minute she thought their lips would meet. But it was her cheeks that got the pleasure instead, a French custom which left her cheeks to glow a bright crimson. Her lips were soft and tender against her skin. She could feel the exact spot they had touched much after it happened.

She invited the woman in her home, for the second time. Though now she was determined to make her mark and turn it into a positive one.

"Can I take your coat?" She offered.

"Oui, merci." She replied, taking off her coat and blazer and walking into the living room.

"Hello!" Called a voice from the floor, she could barely be seen from behind the sofa but Kira propped herself up to wave towards the blonde.

"Bonsoir, you must be Kira. Cosima has told me about you!"

Before Cosima left the room she saw Delphine sitting on the couch next to where Kira had been drawing and who proceeded to show the Frenchwoman her artwork. She went into her bedroom to place the blondes possessions, she could smell the linger scent of her perfume in the bundle of clothes in her arms and then on her bed as she lay them there neatly. For a second she had to resist the overwhelming urge to reach down and bring the garments to her nose, just to inhale the fragrance as if her body needed it, as though some psychologically induced craving was pleading for it. She denied herself of this and turned to the mirror, where she inspected herself, her cheeks still rosy from the previous encounter she and Delphine had at the door. Other than that she looked fine, her make up had been applied to perfection and her clothes flattered her form.

Upon walking back into the room she was faced with a sight which caused her to stop in her tracks. It was no unusual, or anything out of the ordinary, merely the simple interaction between Kira and Delphine, the way Delphine led the sketch pad on her lap, Kira selecting colours and passing them to her, giggling when she made a small mistake. They were so at ease with one another, the atmosphere of absolute comfort encompassing the whole space. Suddenly Cosima could not care less about her appearance, because this was perfect and everything felt perfect. Delphine and her family made her heart swell and the void was filled with love. And just then, as if she could hear her thoughts, Delphine turned around to lock eyes with her and smiling with a pure radiance, beckoned her forward towards the seat next to her.

"You didn't tell me you had a French friend!" Kira exclaimed, after also noting her aunt's return.

"And you didn't tell me your niece was such a fine artist!" Delphine mimicked with a tone of mock outrage.

" I leave you two alone for two minutes and already you're ganging up on me." Cosima pouted and faked an upset, which provoke Kira's sympathy as the young girl got up and threw herself into Cosima's arms.

Cosima could feel Delphine's eyes on her the entire time. She was beginning to feel hot under the collar, and she felt disappointed when she remembered the original intention of the meeting and the work that would follow. Maybe Delphine felt the same way, as she began to reach for her bag, which was bulked out by the weight of documents she had brought with her. But to her surprise what she took out was not work, but a white paper bag which she began to hand to Cosima.

"I have the truffles I promised you." She said.

Cosima barely knew what to say for a few seconds, so taken aback by the unexpected gesture. She remembered the conversation well, it had been late one day after work when they had been discussing their guilty pleasures.

"You have never tried truffles until you've tried French truffles." She had promised.

And now here they were in her hands.

"Delphine, thank you so much." She said, as though she was holding some sacred totem. "But wait, how did you get French truffles around here?"

"Let's say I pulled a few strings." The blonde replied, mischievously.

"Obvs."

A sudden tension infected Cosima's body, she watched Delphine intuitively, observing her eyes, how they kept looking towards her mouth, as if she was thinking about what she craved to do to it. She became aware of Delphine's slender arm which leaned across the back of the couch, her hand so close to her neck. How easy it could have been for her to pull Cosima forward into a kiss, to caress her and write love letters upon her lips. How easy.

"Is there anymore milkshake auntie Cosima?" Asked Kira, who was trying her hardest to get the last of the drink into her mouth, oblivious to the dynamic between the two women. She had moved so she now placed in front of the television, watching some sort of family movie.

"Uh, milkshake, milkshake. Oh yeah, I think you may be in luck!"

The brunette got up reluctantly, taking Kira's glass and going into the kitchen to refill. As she opened the fridge door she felt a hand upon her own and she sunk at the notion, her small palm's surface covered by the slender fingers of the blonde figure behind her. She turned her body to face the woman who had her trapped between the corner of her cupboards and the fridge, she noted the intensity in her hazel eyes. Cosima froze in anticipation watching Delphine, she felt the hand slide from her own, up her arm, past her neck and finally to her cheek.

"Cosima! Delphine! You're going to miss the movie!"

It was enough to separate their physicality for a second time. Cosima felt like groaning, or perhaps she did, for all she wanted was to kiss the blonde, was to feel like hand not just on her cheeks but in her hair, on her waist, on her…

But they both knew it was inappropriate. Not now, she saw it written on the blondes face, it will happen at some point, but just not now, it said.

How Cosima ever thought a night with Delphine in the comfort of her own home would end in actually doing working, she didn't know. The three of them sat down, watching the movie Kira had persuaded them to watch with her, though it didn't actually take much to convince them. Cosima had found some popcorn in her cupboard and it was still warm now as they ate it together. Delphine couldn't help but laugh at the mannerism of the two brunettes, they were so similar it was striking, they were almost in sync as they picked from the bowl and crunched at the same pace.

I could get used to this, Cosima thought.

She moved her hand slowly towards the blondes upper arm and with her thumb she began to slowly stroke down it, so lightly it could have been a mistake, if not for the repetition. She felt Delphine tense up at first, but she soon began to relax and all the while a grin was evident on her face.

Once the credits were rolling Cosima looked at her watch.

"Monkey, it's 11pm! Your mom would kill me if she knew I let you stay up this late!"

"It's okay, that's why you're the cool aunt." Kira mumbled, trying to keep her eyes open. "Auntie Alison always makes me sleep before 9."

Cosima couldn't help laughing, it was a typical Alison rule.

"Do I still get a story? Even though it's late?" She asked, pleading slightly.

"Of course you do!"

"Is Delphine going to come too?"

Cosima looked over at Delphine who had been watching the conversation.

"That is up to you Kira." The blonde replied.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!"

They made their way to Cosima's bedroom where the bed was already made up, Cosima had found some old teddies during her clear out and put them in the bed, in hopes it would make Kira feel more at ease in such a big bed by herself. The two women sat on the end of the bed whilst the younger girl changed into her pyjamas in the bathroom.

"I've had a really good time this evening." Delphine said earnestly.

"Ditto! I mean, I'm sorry we didn't get any work done, but…"

"That doesn't matter."

"What do you mean?" Cosima asked, noticing her confident tone.

"I sort of assumed that maybe we may not got much done this evening. I made sure to carry out the research on the stem cells we were looking at so…"

"Wait, you already did the work?"

Delphine nodded, not knowing whether it was a good or bad thing all of a sudden.

But Cosima beaming smile gave her all the answers she needed.

"So would it be fair to say you came over with the intent of spending time with me, rather than working?" Cosima teased.

"Oui. It would be."

"Well, maybe next time we should arrange something a little more...private?" She had to resist the urge to put her hand on the blonde's thigh.

"I think...I would love that."

"Love what?" Said Kira, half asleep and stumbling towards the bed.

"Well monkey, that is the question indeed." Cosima said, tucking her niece in the bed and attempting to accumulate some sort of story in her head.

"Infact that's the question that Mason asked himself everyday."

"Who is Mason?" Asked Kira.

"You're saying you don't know Mason? Mason the geek monkey?"

"You're the geek monkey!" The girl said giggling.

"But before me there was Mason. He never had much luck you see, poor thing. Whenever he found something to love, it seemed to back fire."

"Poor Mason!"

"I know right. Like, this one time he had been looking forward to an ice cream from the ice cream van all day and when he finally get one a seagull swooped down and ate it!" Kira almost exploded with laughter, and Delphine wasn't far behind, with Cosima's extrmely exaggerated hand gestures, it was hard not to laugh.

"But when the small things like that carried on happening, it got Mason down. He started to feel really sad for a while. But then-"

"-But then things all changed." Delphine said, finishing the sentence before she had the chance. Cosima looked at her curiously.

"When one day Mason met Mindy."

"Is Mindy a geek monkey too, Delphine?" Asked Kira.

"Oui, very much so. And at first it seemed as though they might not have gotten on because of some of the small things. Mason began to think that this was just one of the many other small things that were destined to go wrong. But as time went, Mason realised that Mindy really adored him."

"She did?' Cosima found herself asking.

"A little more than she was expecting actually."

"And what happened to them in the end?" Kira said, gripping on the duvet around her neck and pulling it closer to her body.

"Well, Kira, I think that may be a story to tell another time."

The young girl groaned at the cliffhanger. But nonetheless she was thrilled to have been told a story by both Cosima and Delphine. They both wished her goodnight before switching off the light and making their way back into the living room. Time seemed to be passing at an incredible speed and Cosima could only wish that it would slow down so she could carry on savouring every second.

"It's getting late. I should probably go." Delphine announced in a whisper.

"Yeah, I mean, if that's what you want. I don't really want you driving in the dark and stuff."

Delphine started to gather her things.

"I will text you when I am home, if you would like?" She offered.

Any excuse to talk to you, Cosima thought.

"Sure, that would be good." She said, making sure the blonde had taken everything.

However a picture on the floor caught her eye. It was one that Kira had evidently drawn earlier when neither of them had noticed. But there stood all three of them, holding hands outside on a lawn with the sun peeping down in the corner and a house in the background. It was easy to tell who was who, Delphine's yellow hair, Cosima's stiff dreads and Kira just being the smallest.

Delphine looked over at the drawing Cosima had picked up and began to inspect it herself. A pink growing in her cheeks as she realised it was a picture of the three of them.

"That's adorable." She said, gaining Cosima's attention.

"Isn't it just." The brunette replied, "I might just have to frame it."

Cosima led Delphine to the door, not that she wanted to. If she could have had her way then the blonde would never be leaving her side, however her way had a way of being problematic so she accepted this as for the best.

"Thank you for a lovely evening."

"Non. Thank you, Cosima."

The way she said her name made her knees weak.

Say it again, she wanted to ask. Whisper it in my ear, or shout it so all the neighbours can hear.

But she didn't.

Instead, she took the blonde's hand, and though she had no idea what possessed her to do it, she placed a neat kiss onto her knuckles.

"Goodnight." She said, nervously, her voice, cracking as she spoke.

Delphine leaned forward once again, but this time the kiss landed more or less on Cosima's lips. It was brief, no more than a few seconds, but it was symbolic of the time they had together and elluded to the time that was still to come. Cosima couldn't be sure what was happening, she wasn't sure if it had been a mistake, that she had aimed for the side of her mouth and misjudged the distance. But all she knew was that his beautiful, intelligent and stimulating woman was kissing her. A mini explosion took place in her heart.

"I will see you soon, Cosima." She replied.


	12. Chapter 12

Today was the day. Cosima had been waiting for it all week and when she woke up this morning she found something beautiful in every action of her ordinary routine. She had expected the time to drag but her spirits were so high it went by like a breeze. Now she was in her bedroom getting ready, she was unusually organised, perhaps due to the fact she had envisioned this moment and all its outcome, analysing and scrutinising the potential clothes she could wear and things she could say. For a moment she had to sit down and tell herself to snap out with it, this was a date, not a science experiment.

A date, she repeated in her head. A date, with Delphine.

If you'd have asked her a couple weeks ago, Cosima would have not believed for a minute that she and the blonde had gotten to this point. But it was becoming unbearable for them both, every minute of their time together when working bore the preoccupation of a touch, or a whisper. The thoughts sent a shiver down her spine.

She had proposed the idea upfront. It was a few days after she had come over when Kira had stayed and they were alone working in a comfortable silence.

"Delphine?"

"Oui?" She replied, looking up from the laptop in front of her and pushing a strand of curls out of her face.

Cosima lost her words for a second, it was a sight she would never grow accustom.

"Would you like to go out with me?"

Delphine paused for a second, looking down at the screen and back into the brunettes eyes.

"You mean...like a date?" She said, the way she said date made Cosima breathless.

"Yeah like a date."

The silence returned, though it was not a comfortable one. For a second, she thought she might say no.

"Of course. I mean, I would like to go out with you." She finally said, with a smile.

Cosima almost couldn't believe her anxiety building up to asking her, for it had been as easy as that.

And now here she was. Awaiting the clock to hit seven so she could meet Delphine at 7.30pm, just as they had arranged. Cosima had decided on a restaurant that Scott and Gracie had recommended to her, it had taken them awhile to get over the initial embarrassment of being walked in by the pair, but they seemed more over it now. She figured if she food was bad, she could just blame it on them instead.

She decided to make her way by foot, it was only a short while away and she figured that it would be good to think things through as she went there. She was nervous, but at least she looked good. In fact, she couldn't remember the last time she was so nervous, or the last time she had a date, or rather she didn't want to remember the latter. She had forgotten this feeling, the intense void of butterflies in her gut, her palms hot and her heart slowly building momentum as it throbbed in her chest.

For a moment, she felt like this was the beginning of falling...

No. She couldn't allow herself to think that way. She was anxious as it was and although they had spent much time together prior, Cosima felt an immense pressure to make a positive impression. It may have been the first time Delphine had considered her in a romantic sense, of course they had their altercations...some which had come extremely close, but Delphine had never really expressed any clear signals as to have to felt about her. But she had still said yes to going on a date, at least that was a start.

Bearing this in mind, Cosima approached the restaurant at last, she looked at her watch and saw it had just turned 7.30, right on time, though it had taken her longer than she expected. She went to sit down on a bench outside, observing the passers by as them came and went unaware of the importance and excitement welling inside of her as she sat contained in her dress and coat.

"Bonsoir Cosima." Whispered a voice from behind her, accompanied by a soft kiss to her cheek. She smelt of a mixture between French cigarettes and her signature perfume.

But before she could turn around to face her, Delphine was already on the bench sitting next to her.

"It's good to see you." The brunette thought aloud, although it was written all over her face.

"And it is good to see you, as well as being so punctual." She said with a wink. She had grown used to Cosima's late ways and was not expecting to see her for a short while. Perhaps that's why she had been so excited to see her there, or perhaps...

"Well you know, I asked you out and stuff. I should at least have the decency to be here on time, chivalry and all that."

She got up and led them to the restaurant.

"Speaking of which." She said with a wink, opening the door for the blonde. "After you my lady."

"Mon dieu! Merci beaucoup!" Delphine exaggerated. Their playful flirting had begun and they hadn't even step foot in the building yet.

But once they had they were met with a grandiose view, not the generic scenery of a typical fancy restaurant but one in which a glass balcony cascaded over the view of a red carpet and expensively furnished ground level occupied by waiters serving and green vine leaves ebbed up the side walls, as if to provoke some earthly element. Cosima played it cool, she had to physically quench the gasp which sought to escape her lips, Delphine on the other hand looked like a kid in Disneyland.

She turned to Cosima, reached for her hand and said, "Mon cherie, this is beautiful."

And the compliment was amplified by the knowledge that Delphine was no stranger to luxury. She was aware of her privileged upbringing, the range of venues she must have visited, the decadence of it all, and yet she was still impressed by her choice...or Scott's choice, but whatever. She gushed at her words.

A man wearing a bow tie approached them, cheerily.

"Good evening! You have an appointment, ladies?"

"Uh yeah, yeah. Under Niehaus."

"Perfect, right this way."

He led the pair up curved glass staircase, where they were seated with a view overlooking the entire restaurant and Cosima mentally thanked the universe for being so good to her. They took their seats and ordered some wine before looking at the food menus.

"Is this where you take all your dates, Cosima?" Delphine teased, still mesmerised by the surroundings.

"Only the beautiful French ones."

She playfully nudged Cosima under the table at the comment.

'Stop flirting with me, I'm trying to be an adult here.' Cosima said, dramatically opening the menu to a random page. She looked at the main courses, many of which seemed to be of the French tongue.

"I see you're trying to make me feel at home with all this cuisine, are you not?"

"Well, since you provided me with French truffles, I guess you just left me craving more."

"Did you like them?"

"They were great, like really good. Although, I'm still curious as to how you got them."

Delphine bit her lip, but momentarily it was as though a feeling of solemn had come over her. Before Cosima had time to ask if she was okay the waiter was back accompanied with wine and ready to take their orders. Cosima was extremely aware of her awful accent when pronouncing the dishes she wanted, to the degree that she resulted in simply pointing to them, however Delphine couldn't resist laughing so she didn't mind.

"You know, your niece is such a sweet girl and so bright for her age." Delphine said once the waiter had gone. "I can see where she gets it from though."

"What? Me? If anything I'm an awful influence on her innocent little mind!"

"Non, I could tell that she really admires you, anyone could see that."

Cosima smiled at the thought of Delphine observing the two when they had been together.

"Not many people get to meet my family, especially not Kira, but you've some how managed to meet the majority of them."

"I get the impression that they are very...how do you say? Protective, very protective of you."

"You got that right. When I told Sarah about the whole cheating ex-girlfriend business I thought she was going to hunt her down or something."

"They just love you. My family, they are the same in that way."

"You never speak much of your family, are you guys close, or?"

Delphine hesitated but only for a moment. "I speak to them regularly, my parents I mean. They worry about me a lot, they are not very fond of America."

Cosima mocked offence for a second before cracking a laugh, "What's not to be fond of?! We have a great military record! And don't even get me started on our accessible healthcare! I bet you don't have that in Europe."

Their jokes took up a good part of the night. The food they had ordered was delivered not much longer after and was, as expected, of an impeccable quality, and they found themselves on a second bottle of wine.

"You know, I have never been on a date with a woman before." Delphine said, in a low pitch, taking the glass slowly to her lips. Cosima found herself licking at her own at the sight of her.

"And, how are you finding it?"

"Well," she began to slowly rub her leg against Cosima's under the privacy provided by the table cloth. "I am enjoying myself greatly. I almost feel you're...too good to be true."

Cosima was in the right mind to say fuck it, fuck it to the desert and the third bottle of wine they planned on ordering and fuck it to the waiters who had been so kind and helpful, for all the really wanted was Delphine. She wanted to reach for her cheek, and softly kiss her lips and another part of her, conflicted, craved to pull the blonde forward and slam her lips against hers, hungrily.

It was overwhelming and confusing, a mixture of romantic and sentimental combined with a surge of sexual tension that had long lingered about their relationship, whatever that was.

"Dr Cormier, if you're under the impression this flattery is going to get you anywhere...you're probably right."

"And tell me Cosima." She paused, looking, searching deep within the brunettes hazel eyes. "Where will it get me?"

Fuck.

She's testing me, Cosima thought, she's trying to test my boundaries.

But two can play at that game.

Just as she felt Delphine's leg stroke up towards her thigh, as she had been doing in a repetitive motion, Cosima began to spread her legs, only slightly but enough that Delphine was aware of this new territory. Then as she repeated the up and down motion Delphine now traveled up Cosima's thigh, getting closer with every time until the blonde felt as though she could feel the heat radiating from Cosima's underwear.

They both struggled to maintain their demeanour, but so absorbed with each other they were that when they were revisited by the man donning a bow tie, who had brought their desert, they were dazed for a second, they looked at each other and were unable to stifle their laughter.

It was around 11 when they finally left, Cosima having paid the bill and Delphine promising on taking her out for their second date.

A second date.

Cosima could have laughed at her foolishness earlier, the anxiety that inhabited her as it did, because now here they stood so carefree after having enjoyed each other's company.

It was dark out, much darker than it was when they went in, though it was March. There was a double-edge sense, one which brought a continued excitement, that this couldn't be the end of the night and another which nagged that it was late and they both had work to do.

"Do you reckon one day I can see this house of yours that you so graciously talk of?" Cosima asked teasingly.

Delphine felt herself seize up, her whole body suddenly tense. "I would it's just...at the moment, it is very uh, very messy." She dismissed.

"I totally understand, I mean the amount of time it takes to tidy when I know I'm going to have company is insane. Speaking of which...would you like to come over?"

Cosima felt less frightened of asking such questions now. They were both slightly drunk and it was probably the safest option anyway, not to mention that they could still be together.

There seemed an omnipresent ideal that involuntarily set voyage in her subconscious thoughts. If they were to be alone...and all that it could lead to. She hated these thoughts and herself for having them. But images of the blonde beneath her, moaning her name, whispering dirty secrets, led to self-betrayal.

"If you are sure Cosima? I would not want to burden you."

"How many times do I have to tell you, you could never be a burden to me." Cosima laughed, placing a hand to the woman's cheek and rubbing her thumb over it. She heard Delphine's light gasp and the feeling of the cold rings on her fingers.

And it was then.

Finally, after all the months of anticipation, of hidden words spoken in blushes, of consistent contemplation of true feelings, they kissed in that Spring evening air. Their lips touched without thought of those around them, nor thought of their own actions and at last it felt so destined. No other satisfaction could beat the feeling of their lips parting slightly, feeling Delphine's tongue lightly brushing against Cosima's, or the way Cosima bit Delphine's lower lip softly, pulling it towards her before letting go. It was in a league of it's own. And when they broke apart they both grinned a look of mutual contentment and relieve that they were at this point and that there was no turning back.

They walked west, hand in hand, blissfully towards Cosima's apartment, unaware that there was soon to be trouble in paradise.


End file.
